Humor · Toddlers

20 Lies This Mom Tries to Convince Herself Are True

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1. I will wake up before my kids to get a head start on the day.

2. We will make it out the door this morning in peace and harmony

3. I forgot to bring snacks but my kids can make it two hours without eating something.

4. No one will notice the dried on breakfast I forgot to wipe off their faces.

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5. I am going to start making homemade meals for my family.

6. The kids will happily play with their toys while I prepare these meals.

7. My child does not have too much sugar in her diet.

8. It’s okay if I bribe her with lollipops all day long.

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9. I will look great when my husband walks in the door this evening: hair, makeup, and something not covered in peanut butter and glitter.

10. Tonight I am going to break out my lingerie. . . once I find where I stored it.

11. Today I will not get frustrated with my kids.

12. I will catch my daughter before she eats more toothpaste.

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13. Today I will clean the house.

14. I will wash the dirty laundry, and even put away the clean pile sitting in the basket all week.

15. My kids are not in the other room creating a bigger mess than the one I am cleaning up at the moment.

16. Well, I can always finish things up tonight.

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17. I will spend nap time doing something productive.

18. I will begin doing that productive thing in just a few more minutes. . .

19. Okay, nap time is suddenly over; I will make up for it tonight.

20. Sure we can all go run errands together this afternoon, it will be so much fun.

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17 thoughts on “20 Lies This Mom Tries to Convince Herself Are True

  1. Yes, yes, yes! I tell myself these things every single day, especially the “I’ll get to that productive thing in just a few more minutes”….it’s amazing how much we delude ourselves everyday, isn’t it??? Your children are beautiful too, even if they’re crying in the picture:)

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    1. Awe, thanks! It is fun to see how many of us are in the same boat. It is encouraging to know I am not the only one struggling with this perfect housewife thing!

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  2. I spat my coffee out laughing at this…They are like the 20 commandments for all mothers …..I have a three month old and 18month old and I’m still kidding myself that I will get the entire house cleaned when my son naps…..its never happened once
    X

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    1. Wow, your’s are even closer in age than mine! Yes, it is a constant battle with ourselves it seems. I think the days I am the happiest though are when I stop caring and just play with my babies. πŸ™‚

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  3. It is a lot of work but so much fun!! I would not want mine to be any further apart in age. Especially now, they play together all the time; best buds. . . and worst enemies at the same time!

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  4. This is perfect! And exhausting. And so enviable and impossible a list I wish I could grant you superpowers to achieve it. Regardless, I hope you’re having a marvelous time with the attempt. πŸ™‚

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    1. Thanks but sadly I have pretty much given up by now. Although every now and then I somehow convince myself it will happen, until the day is over and I realize I am more behind then when I started! πŸ™‚

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