Humor · Toddlers

You’re Officially a Mom of Small Children When. . .


-You nurse the baby while simultaneously doing your makeup, entertaining your toddler and making a doctor’s appointment.

-Going to the bathroom alone is a foggy memory of peaceful days.

-It is literally freezing temps outside and yet you forgot your jacket since by the time you finally had the kids ready and out the door you felt like you just finished a warm morning marathon.

-You sometimes wish a tornado would sweep through your place, for at least then you could call your insurance to help you clean.

-You find yourself more thankful to God than ever before, for He created the coffee bean.



-At least half your daily calories are consumed in whatever the kids left on their plates.

-Having both children napping at the same time is one of the greatest accomplishments of your life. So great you would wish to shout it from the rooftops, but do not dare in fear of waking one of the sleepers.

-Girls’ night” consists of “liking” and commenting on each others posts after everyone’s kids are finally asleep.

-You love your husband, you really do, but sometimes you are “already asleep” when he comes into bed. 😉

-You find yourself despising the individuals who discovered the negative impact too much screen time has on a child.



-You can think of nothing coming as close to true peace as being at the grocery store all by yourself.

-When you do not have this alone shopping experience you see nothing wrong with handing the cashier half your items already open from the kid’s snacking frenzy–at least they are not screaming in anyone’s ear.

-You have to fight to keep your eyes open at night but still refuse to fall asleep after the kids do and miss out on your “me time.”

-You were once a discreet person, then you had a breastfed baby who does not wish to be covered up in public.


-You know the individual who will receive the greatest reward in heaven is the nursery’s Sunday School teacher, God bless her soul.

-You sometimes have to resort back to your birthing classes and remind yourself to breathe.

-A simple smile, laugh, hug, kiss, and just like labor, you somehow forget all about the hard moments.

-You would do all it again in a heartbeat.



6 thoughts on “You’re Officially a Mom of Small Children When. . .

  1. With a couple of gender specific exceptions, I can say that I have totally experienced all of those feelings as a stay at home father. Thanks for putting it in such a funny way. It’s good to know we are not alone!


    1. Thanks! And way to go dad! It takes a strong man to make the sacrifice to stay home with his kids. We know it will all be worth it though; people are much more important than a paycheck.


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