Real and Raw

Why Have I Been Writing So Much?!

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For all of you who have been following me for a while, you know that this sudden spurt in writing is unusual. I had only been blogging about once a week, and now it is suddenly becoming a Monday though Friday thing?

What happened??

Well, first I burned out. And I was actually about to be done with it all. Because I was thinking too deeply. I overthought what I should type. I re-read and scratched posts way too many times.

Because I was allowing other people’s opinions to guide me. “Opinions” that were never spoken. No one once told me I should only write a handful of posts each month and that they had to be blow you out of the water good. But in my head I figured that’s what others wanted. And I simply felt I could do that no more.

I tend to be a people pleaser.

It is an issue I am working to overcome.

But I think that I was born to write. That it was one of those things that God just places in people, and they almost have no choice in the matter. It is the way I am able to express my thoughts and feelings. The method I use to work through issues, to soak up moments.

I write it, and I feel it. I feel it with everything in me. Because these are not just words to me. This is my heart, poured out for all to see. And sometimes it is scary, and it is vulnerable. And yet, I still cannot stop writing

I write because I breathe.

I cannot seem to comprehend one without the other.

And to be able to write like this, on a more regular basis… Well, my breathing has become deep these past few weeks, and my lungs are full once more.

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How will I have that much to say? Won’t I burn out?

Perhaps. You see, I tend to go through life like the wind. Here and there, this place to that place.

I think it’s why my husband and I have moved eight times in five years of marriage.

I think it’s what makes me a great mom. Because kids are like the wind too, changing constantly. And I have no problem simply picking up the new flow. In fact, I embrace it.

And so perhaps in a month from now I will go back to less frequent writing. Perhaps I will write a book. I suppose you never know.

But today I feel the wind beneath my wings. And so today I will write once more.

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I hope that through writing often I will be able to show myself more transparent than ever before. I hope to be more raw. To express my heart more openly.

And I hope that you too will find the courage to do so yourself.

We are moms. There is simply something that bonds us with that name. And yet too often it just feels good to hide behind that smile that says “I have everything together.” I hope that this will be a place where we can admit that in fact we do not have it all together. Because life is not easy. And life with kids is dirty. And we are humans, and humans are full of junk.

So to us, the moms who do not have it all together, may we hold fast to each other.

You are the ones who encouraged me when I felt like quitting so many times.

Words will never truly express…

Thanks for supporting me in this.

Thank you for coming along on this journey with me.

~Sasha

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20 thoughts on “Why Have I Been Writing So Much?!

  1. Sasha, YOU are amazing!!! I love reading about your family. and I find myself excited every time I get an email that there is a new post. Keep doing what you are doing, and don’t worry about what people might think… the RIGHT people, will read 🙂

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  2. Couldn’t love you more…you truly are a gift from God! Made me cry yet again, ‘in a good way’ as Hannah would say

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  3. Keep writing, sweetie! You’re doing great. I agree, once you realize you need to write, you HAVE to write. You can’t put it into a box, it just is what it is, is who you are…

    Beautiful.

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  4. I get burned out too, because of the need and fear of only writing knock your socks off posts. I’ve also been working on that and you put into words what I’ve been feeling. I also feel called to writing. You are am awesome and inspirational writer, so whether it’s once a week or more, I’ll be here reading. And I’ve been meaning to tell you that you are also a great photographer, another of your callings for sure. As always, thanks for your honesty and keep on keeping on!

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    1. It has been amazing to hear how much I am not alone in this! I suppose it is a lot like motherhood–everyone feeling the same way but no one really wanting to vocalize it. Thank you so much for your kind words Natasha!! I am sooooo happy to have you here!!

      And keep sharing your words of beauty as well!

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  5. Keep it up, I’m sure enjoying reading it. But hey, it doesn’t matter how often you write. Your posts are so meaningful that once a month is enough to get great inspiration. And your pictures are so so beautiful…

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  6. You are a beautiful writer, Sasha! I can relate so much to what you said. I’ve gone through similar feelings too of caring about opinions that were never spoken to me. I overthink sometimes and I’ve felt like quitting too. But like you, writing is just a part of me. Keep using your writer’s heart. You have a beautiful gift!

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  7. Sasha, I believe if you wrote the phone book I would read it cover to cover. Your voice and your you-ness are what makes your writing so special. Just keep doing that and your readers are happy. Also–“I write because I breathe.” I, also, just love you, Sasha. Thanks for giving us a little more and I totally forgive you when you have to give a little less. 🙂

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  8. This is exactly how I’ve been feeling as of late. I have been a bit burned out and exhausted (3rd trimester pregnancy could be a culprit too…) I’m so glad to know that I am not the only one though. Thanks for writing what most of us would like to, but haven’t. 🙂

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    1. Melissa, you have every right to do absolutely nothing until baby arrives! And then still take some more time as well! 🙂 Thank you though for your kind words! And whenever you find the time, here and there, keep writing! 🙂

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  9. Ahh…sweet, honest, humble words. I have felt those very things myself. It appears that the “younger folk” write blogs, who would be interested in reading the words of an older mom with grown children? Better yet, who reads them at all? But I have to write….working two part time jobs has reduced my writing to only one post per blog per week…but the “writing” won’t go away. They are just hidden in a document file…waiting for the right time. I think that when your heart is full you must put it to “pen”. Bless you my friend…your words carry a sweet spirit that bless so many….even an old lady like me!!

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