Pierce had a seizure Sunday night. He fell face first into the bathtub when it began. My husband was reading a book to him, so concentrated on making the story exciting he did not notice him topple over. 5, 10 seconds in the water? Enough to bring terrors I had never known.
We watched in horror as his body seized, with no idea if he was choking on the water as well. We called 911. He began to turn blue, his breathe slowing to an almost complete stop. “He’s not breathing!” my husband cried out at one point. “God!” I screamed. No other words. I could not articulate any other word.
Finally, after what seemed a never ending time. After what seemed a death sentence, he let out a piercing cry, and I felt my heart return to its chest. He cried and screamed and cried and screamed, and I joined him tear for tear. I have never in all my life heard a more beautiful sound.
I had thought I was losing him. I cannot even begin to describe the emotions.
My heart is still raw.
The paramedics arrived and he was taken to the ER. A long night of tests and fevers, with many more painful tears–mine as well as his. And yet through every tear, there came a prayer of thanks. An overwhelming gratitude. I have never been more thankful for my little boy. My difficult, demanding, death defying little boy.
Never have I felt his soft touch with more love. Never have I listened to his sweet voice with more elation. Never has my heart been so utterly overwhelmed with this unexplainable gratitude.
I have always loved him more than my breath, but this time the breath was taken right out of me.
Thanksgiving. Thankful. This is me.
My babies are here. Nothing else matters.