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Crazy Hot Sex

engagment

To my dear daughter,

As you grow, many boys will enter your years. They will speak words of love and passion, of wanting you–all of you.

Their sex will be lacking.

Believe me, dear girl, I know what crazy hot lovemaking is made of. Until the boy can assure you of the following, it is not true passion.

If he can patiently wait for over three years. From pregnant to nursing to pregnant to nursing, with your hormones fierce, and desire often dead. “Please, just let me sleep. I am so tired.” will be your common response. Until he can love you still, choose you still, it is not true passion.

If He can call you beautiful when even your feet are swollen from baby belly. Call you sexy when your legs run thick with varicose veins from the same. Call you perfect after your belly hangs loose with skin and your eyes deep with bags. Until he can still call you these things, it is not true passion.

You may throw things at him, yell words of hate and shame as you feel the hormones of post baby blues run deep. Until he can love you even deeper, piercing through the pain into your heart, it is not true passion.

He will go to work where there are other women, pretty women. Pretty women with no children and varicose free, high heeled legs. I know the way they toss their pretty little hair to and fro.

He will come home to you, your hair pulled back into theΒ frizziest of buns, a baby on your hip, spit up down your arm. Until he can come home to you–you with no makeup–and express there is nothing as wonderful as seeing your face, it is not true passion.

You are touched by his love,Β and whisper tonight you will return the favor. Tonight there is a crying baby and a feverish toddler who just joined you in bed. Until he can laugh, fully laugh about this, it is not true passion.

Can a man like this exist? Yes, dear girl, and you call him your dad. He has shown me what true love is.

The hormones have faded. I am not pregnant. I am not nursing. My own passion has returned. Can I truly say “returned?” I really had no idea what passion was. So intense, so raw, I cannot put it fully into words.

I am not in love with just another man. I am in love with the father of my babies. The one who called me beautiful through nights of ugly, called me strong through days of weak, called me valuable through days of uncertainty. The one who waited patiently for me. Who washed the sheets of vomit as I bathed the fever infested child.

This is love dear girl. This is passion. It is being one with he who is going to be there for you, till death do you part, regardless. It is something mystical and unexplainable. It is something crazy. It is crazy hot sex.

Wait dear girl. Wait for him. There is nothing so beautiful as finding your heart in his, the one who will wait for you–even after marriage.

Love,

Mom

watermellon baby

 

433 thoughts on “Crazy Hot Sex

  1. This came at a perfect time. Last night I cried as I tried to explain to my husband that I just don’t believe him when he tells me I’m beautiful. It’s just hard to believe when there’s other women out there who seem perfect, and here I am with messy hair, I haven’t showered, legs unshaved, a baby latched on, dark circles under my eyes, and baby weight that hasn’t left and probably will not. No matter how many times he told me over and over, I just couldn’t see it myself…until this article. It’s not necessarily about what the world finds beautiful…instead of looking at myself when he said this, I should have been looking at him, seeing that he is beyond incredible for being able to see the beauty in all of this…this blog made me see his words as so much more than just words…it made me see how blessed I am to have this man as my husband, and now everytime he says “You’re beautiful,” I’ll think of that.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Mmmmm, I love this! You truly are beautiful, for you are beautiful to the only one that truly matters! I am so happy you have found such an amazing guy–don’t let him get away. πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰

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    2. But why would he want another girl when he worked his butt off for you? not all guys are pigs, if you ask me I would do it all again, I love my wife and will never turn my back on her, she is mine and I am hers, No infidelity zone! When we have a realization of who we are in Christ your not missing nothing you are complete in him! Your not lacking your not out of place we are perfect in Jesus!

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    3. Great to hear about your wonderful hubby and about this post helping you. I can’t help feel very sad for the guys out there when their wives won’t believe them when they say “You’re beautiful” because they insist on comparing themselves with other women. It can’t be nice when your spouse doesn’t believe your words until they read an article like this one. I don’t mean to put a dampner on things I really don’t but perhaps there is something to learn from this. Perhaps we should value our husbands words and heart more.

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    4. I had so many moments like that… so many. Still do. But then my husband looks at me and tells me that I am still the most beautiful woman in this world and how much he loves me. And what else do you need…

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  2. Reblogged this on Lady Icons and commented:
    Very thoughtful! To everyone who has had the challenge of having that Sex Talk with your daughter, and people like me who is still coming up. You will find this quite helpful.

    Shout out to all caring men too! You make this real.

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      1. I have 16 and 13 yr old daughters. My advice is the same thing that my dad did with us. Don’t save the talk for “someday”. Always have the talk, explain it when they are little, you explain it’s how babies, bunnies, puppies, kitties etc. are made. Explain that it is special for married mommies and daddies, and yes, tell them how it is done, they will not be traumatized they will giggle, and surprisingly they will forget (proof it isn’t traumatizing), and you will have to explain it again until they’re old enough that it sticks. Then it is just a part of what you taught them to get through their life, just as you would potty train them, or teach them not to run into the road. Then you can have the more spiritual sex talk, like your letter, at an age of deeper understanding.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. I agree. It is all about making it “kid friendly”. We did the same. But when they kind of ask questions. Mine are just over ten and just under ten. But they picked up certain things over the last couple of years. Understanding the depth of the decision to have sex with someone will probably only come one day (hopefully). And we will work on that one too… and on explaining how to stay safe…

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  3. Being pregnant with our third and seeing such truth in your words and how they are reflected in my amazing husband, this brings joyful, deeply touched tears to my eyes! Thank you for sharing your insight!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. First off, congrats on #3!!! What an exciting time for you guys! Exciting and challenging as well. πŸ™‚ I am so happy this resonated with you. Congrats as well on the awesome man who stands by your side!

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  4. This was heartbreaking to read. The sentiment is sweet, but unfortunately, you can’t always tell until you’re already married, with little children all around, that this man, who said all of those beautiful things, eventually would turn his charm on for other women instead, leaving you feeling alone and discarded. Calling others beautiful while making you feel invisible.
    Words are meaningless. If I could go back, I’d stay away from the one with flowery words, and choose a man who was steadfast, sincere, hard-working, responsible, and steady. One who would be there for the long haul.

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    1. I so understand what you are saying. As I read the original post, I believe what the author is saying is just what you are saying – not to be wooed by flowery words but instead look for that man who is true in his intentions and will be steadfast and loyal through the good and bad and years of little ones, pregnancy, birth, etc, etc.

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      1. You’re right. I think that just hit a raw nerve, and answered from a place of pain rather than thoughtfully. Sorry for my negativity, everyone. I do agree that a husband like the one in the original post is one to appreciate.

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        1. ❀ ❀ relationships are so hard – so much more than the "fairy tales" many of us were fed when young… the day to day in a marriage/committed relationship especially when you add children is not the romance that is portrayed far too often.

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        2. It’s ok Rain. Hit a nerve with me or made me feel a little left out too. Some of us start out that way believing in our men and although we are “all in” so to say, “loyal” and “never want divorce or to separate the family” sometimes it just doesn’t work out and the man who seemed to have good intentions and beautiful words goes through a mid life crisis or can’t control his urge to cheat with other women. It’s happened to me twice now and there is not an exact formula on how to safely pick someone who won’t let you down. People change and many women do stay in bad relationships thinking it will go back to the way it was, or that it will get better and cover up what is really going on. It can happen to anyone and it does happen to over 50% of marriages. So these women who are having this wonderful experience are very lucky and I hope for all their sakes it does not change. But if it does…..you are not alone and it just means you are the other 50% and you are not alone. LIfe is a journey full of many experiences and if you had it for awhile then you had it. If it no longer is…then enjoy your next experience. Hugs!

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      2. Don’t be flattered by the words of what a man says. But see how the man treats his mom. More times than not, the way a man treats his mom, is usually the way he treats his wife. I have 9 children, 3 are married, one engaged. I certainly can see the resemblance.

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    1. Jess, I don’t believe that’s what the author is saying. This is a letter to her daughter about the true love her father has for her mother that is reflected in his choices to honor and take care of her through some of the roughest days a woman goes through (in this case, pregnancy & stages of motherhood, but in others it may be the case of extreme sickness, or loss, or financial stresses). I think it’s an ode to finding the kind of love that sticks, and that sees the beauty in you and your life together despite the ‘messiness’ of it all. I can say, that I knew my husband loved me before I had kids, but seeing him with our babies, and seeing him with me during my growing pregnancies and their ups and downs I have seen a love that I never knew existed from him. It brings out a completely different kind of love from a man who truly loves you…true love is capable without those experiences, but having children together changes both of you and brings about a different kind of love and appreciation for one another (in my opinion).

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      1. Your comment still implies that without becoming parents, a married couple won’t fully experience a special kind of love. I agree that this is the author telling her daughter what loves look like in their marriage and how much dad really cares for mom. But to say that a couple can’t experience this special profound love/respect for each other without having children is simply untrue. Of course, this ability to love one another more deeply through profound, life changing experiences is a very real experience, but I would certainly argue that experiencing infertility and the grief associated with *not* being able to have children together is also a true testimony to a deepening love. That experience too changes a couple and brings about a different kind of love and appreciation for one another. We discovered sides we didn’t know existed, and I imagine couples that have gone through other life changing events like a tragic loss, a life threatening illness, etc. would say the same.

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        1. “Your comment still implies that without becoming parents, a married couple won’t fully experience a special kind of love.”

          I feel certain that is not what Shelah is implying. I believe she is only saying that there is a special kind of love that comes with having children, and that is all. Not that having children is the only way to fully experience true love and passion.

          It is true that a married couple who are not parents can not experience the SAME passion and love that comes with having children because that love and passion is directly related to the child/children that they are parenting.

          I believe the same can be said about the passion and true love a married couple experiences from a life threatening illness or loss can not be felt by a couple who has not been faced with those circumstances.

          Every married couple have their own unique passion and true love that is felt between the two.

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          1. I agree. I think this is implying that one cannot have passionate love without children. What if one simply hasn’t experienced any “traumatic event” or infertility or had children, but just simply don’t want children. Are you saying they will never be able to love fully or passionately? I disagree completely. Why is it that children make you an adult or make your marriage full? How come it isn’t that you are two responsible adults who have actually thought about the decision and the impact?

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        2. I agree with you view totally. This blog went viral on fb and i finally gave it a read. And I was really annoyed by the tone of the post. Life is not about getting married and having babies. Life is not about a man accepting you either. I think if the author is writing to a child you should teach your daughter to value herself and her ideas before anything else.Teach her to be ambitious and not take no for an answer to reach her goals. And then when she is a self made person, the love that is not intimidated by it is true love and true acceptance. I say it as it can be a man or a woman who isnt afraid to tell you when you are over the top and with so much experience the daughter would easily see through empty words and small talk. So whats important is teach her to respect heself. I stress this as the blogger keeps saying when you look like a mess after you have kids well you will look like a mess when you have had a long day at work. You will be annoyed when your boss has yelled at you and you will be irrational when you dont attain your goals too. And also beautiful is how you see it. More than sitting pretty one should feel happy about oneself irrespective of whether you fit into the societal norms of pretty. We need young girls to be independent and rational not some sentimental beings who are prone to make decisions more from the spur of the moment.

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          1. I swear, can’t you people find anything else to ruin? Believe it or not, there are women who want to be stay at home mothers and wives, who do want to have babies, and that it is our goal in life. That is all I want in life.That’s my goal. I want to find a man who will love me for myself, respect my decision to stay a virgin until marriage, and have a family with (and I want a big family; 5-6 please!) I want to raise my family, teach them to be respectful, wonderful people, and let that be my legacy. I completely agree that women should be taught to be ambitious, and to have goals, but when that woman wants to be a mother and wants children and a husband and that sort of life more than anything else, that should also be respected. I am emotional, I am loving, I am caring, I am nurturing, I am maternal, I am my own woman and do not care for the career world. I would much rather create a beautiful life for my husband and my children. This writer did a fantastic job reaching us, women who have children or want children, just because you don’t agree with her does not mean that you have to question the content of her article.

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            1. Understand that you cant expect someone to make you happy. If you didnt learn till your marriage to respect yourself your husband is not going to teach you to. And he isnt doing you a favor he is marrying you because he loves you. End of story. There is no teaching you or you teaching him. Both of you grow together. And i never underestimated a stay at home mother its a choice. But its not always that women have to be told they are beautiful. Let me tell you for the sake of arguements no man who truly loves his woman will tell her everyday she is beautiful. He sees her beyond that and doesnt have to emphasize. And woman stop expecting its not a fairy tale. Unless and until you choose to be happy no matter how hard your partner tries your never going to be. So stop burdening the other half with your expectations of how a fairytale love looks like.

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              1. Being the daughter of a stay at home mother who never stopped pursuing her hobbies. I feel it helps to have something else other than your family as the only passion. I say this as, once your kids grow there will come a time when your husbands at work and noone else is dependant on you and your life starts feeling a bit empty. Its serious when you say so you want lot kids, dont you see its not just your love for kids but your idea of filling the void your afraid it will create when one grows up. You expect so much from the family and its nice when they are all afer you but then they grow up and you realize they are busy with their work and you never had time for yourself so none exists as yours. So atleast pursue some hobbies on the side. And your not obliged to do certain things and your husbands not doing you a favor, rather the child is a responsibility of both. So if he is also responsible for the big belly you carry around why is it such a big deal for him to accept you. HE HAS to shouldnt he.It might have worked for the mother but not in the present day scenario. If your talking to your daughter and want her to listen you should edit your content to the present day.

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                1. And I should add the letter is addressed to a younger daughter not a 21 year to get married daughter. Your talking from your shoes that you want a family. But thats not a dream i want my 10 11 year old to have.

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                2. I don’t know where you got the idea that I would be teaching my husband anything. When I said I would teach my family to be wonderful people, I meant my husband and I would teach our children together to be wonderful people, I’m sorry if that wasn’t made clear. I have no need for fairy tales, and I do love myself already. I want to find someone that would complete the puzzle, so to speak, so we can create a house full of love, harmony, and legacy. I don’t know why that would be seen as a fairy tale, as far as I know it is possible to do if you play your cards right. As for having 5-6 children to fill the void, that’s just not true. I have wanted to be a mother from a very early age, I’ve always wanted a big family. I want to create a unit of love that will last throughout the years. Among this, I am also catholic and I want to leave the number of children I have up to god, and not interfere in any way shape or form. Maybe that’s not what is accepted or favorable in today’s society, but there are many things that aren’t correct or moral that are running rampant, forgive me for wanting a sweeter, simpler life.

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                  1. I can understand your sentiments. I disagree in that god gifted you the kids but he never said have as many as you want and not provide for them. You have to have kids and provide them all the basic necessities. And education these days is expensive. You cant put them through college with one person earning unless and untill you run some amazing business or are at some high up position. So gods gifts idea works as long as you understand that you can provide for them. And to say you always wanted to get married from an early age, I guess its fine as long as you are happy. As for kids just because you are made this way doesnt mean your kids will embrace the same idea. And if you have goals in life you wont have time for such meaningless relationships and heartbreaks. Working towards what you want also teaches you to assess situation which also applies to personal life. One learns to wait to get what they want rather than hurry. In my opinion talking about marriage and children to a child to promote the idea of what healthy love looks like doesnt make much sense as they arent mature enough to understand the idea behind it.

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                    1. I’m sorry you see family and children as such meaningless relationships. To me, they have all the meaning in the world. I come from a family of only two daughters, and I can see the connections that my sister, my mother and my father have in my life, and it is not meaningless. My only hope and goal in life is to be happy and to make other people happy, it isn’t all about me and never will be, I wasn’t raised to be selfish. And there are plenty of families that live on only one income that make it work. We don’t need to be super rich to survive, having tons of money isn’t that important and doesn’t hold any value to me. What does matter is having love, support, and those relationships you deem so meaningless. I feel like I should add I am pro-life, and am currently not on any form of birth control and will not be at any point in my life. I will be having what god has intended me to have, and that’s the end of it. Sorry my point of view is so inherently distant from yours.

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                    2. I never said they are meaning less but sorry for being practical victoria. Sentiments and emotions might be priority for you but there are some who are practical. i didnt say one needs lots of money to be happy but you need to provide the best for your children. how does that translate as selfish. Selfish is also when you provide bare minimal just because you think thats enough. So dont call someone selfish or materialistic just because you dont the get the point. practicality is not selfishness.I come from a country where family is everything.

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    2. I think she is using children as an example. No tragedy needed, no children needed…but the day to day reality of sharing a bathroom with you. Learning that maybe your dental hygiene isn’t as good as his and not caring. Maybe you left a used tampon next to the toilet because you’d emptied the garbage the night before and forgot to bring the can back. And he carried it out to you in the kitchen to ask what it was, and knew exactly what it was by your face before you spoke. (Um, hypothetically…of course., πŸ˜‰ the rose colored lenses are off. You have gas at night, or you snore like a man. Whatever it may be. You dunk your pizza in Pepsi. You clip your toenails in bed. You keep secret stashes of a candy in your car. Whatever. You stop wanting sex for a while, or a long while because of hormones or because of nothing you can name. And he waits without making you feel like you’re doing something wrong.

      And he still wants to have sex with you when you are ready because he loves you so much, that this humanity makes you more beautiful. These things become secrets between you two and those secrets make you feel closer. It took e author having children and losing her sex drive post partum to realize that her husband felt this way about her, and that reignited her passion. For some, it takes other things. If they are lucky enough to have it.

      I have three kids. I haven’t gotten my drive back yet, and I’m still at the point where I am too tired for sex. I’m pretty sure my husband is too. I hope I have the same experience as this author.

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    3. I think you’re reading it defensively and missing a key point.
      She said:
      “As you grow, many boys will enter your years. They will speak words of love and passion, of wanting you–all of you.

      Their sex will be lacking.

      Believe me, dear girl, I know what crazy hot lovemaking is made of. Until the boy can assure you of the following, it is not true passion.”

      In other words a one night rezndevoux can seem like “crazy hot love making,” yet it will only be fulfilling that “in-the-moment” gratification. It’s meaningless, lacking TRUE LOVE and SINCERE ‘TIL DEATH DO US PART PASSION.
      She is discouraging her daughter from getting wrapped up in the empty words of boys.
      She’s saying until you are sure he is willing to be ok with making sacrifices and loving you unconditionally, it’s just sex. The “crazy hot sex” IS his loyalty through the challenges of change in ANY aspect of a marriage (infertility, illness,etc.). His desire to support and encourage despite the messiness, is the true passionate love she’s speaking of.
      That’s where I feel she was going with the heart of the blog post. She used her life experience, pregnancy/children, to make the message of true love vs in-the-moment -sweet -nothings.

      Liked by 1 person

    4. I do not think it is helpful to be reading between the lines in this blogpost. This is a simple mother-to-daughter letter that is beautiful, without any intention of belittling others’ experiences without children or those who have never chosen to have children. Can we just like this letter for what it is?

      Liked by 3 people

    5. I got the same idea from this. She keeps saying “it is not true passion”. That’s ridiculous.
      It is true passion! I think she’s saying that when a man shows his passion past all of these things it shows his passion is true. I don’t think she meant to say you have to be an aged mother for a man to really have true passion for you.

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  5. I thought this was absolutely beautiful also! I have often tried to envision how I could explain to my girls what they would have to go through someday, and this captured many many moments I have had. We as women are held to higher standard in society and beat ourselves up so many times when we don’t reach the level of beauty which Heidi Klum, Jennifer Aniston, or other many stars have, this is unrealistic and we have to take time to love ourselves….

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  6. Until your man watches you go through 2 years of chemo, radiation, no hair, no eye brows, no eyelashes and STILL tells you how beautiful you are…a truer love doesn’t exist to me.

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  7. Reblogged this on Making Scents and commented:
    Like a sneakily sordid lady – I clicked on ‘Crazy Hot Sex’ I was up for a giggle. A letter to her daughter about ‘real men’ and their passions. πŸ™‚ Love. x

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  8. i very much enjoyed this article, but i have to say I’m disappointed with some of the “men’s” responses. i would never hold what a female said or did in pregnancy/labor/child birth against them…man the “f” up, if you can’t take some “harsh language” and her squeezing/holding/grasping/hitting you during labor you don’t deserve to be a father. “oh judge, my wife squeezed me a little too hard!” -just stop. accept your role as a stress ball during this time, and support you wife…

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    1. I don’t think you need to apologize at all. I’ve experienced the other side when the charm was turned to another woman and I disappeared. Amazing how a person can live through that pain and still stay breathing. If others out there get blessed with a faithful husband then I rejoice with them. They don’t seem to be all that common. Actions definitely speak louder than words.

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  9. Am very happy to be part of this site
    Am a cool dude realy single and looning for true friendship leading to real love n companionship to Marriage…..Jxt hope n willing to find some here ….. please am serious abt this i ll accept any 1 real … coment by leaving your details:Whatsapp n facebook n email address n Name lets get along…Love y’all…… Muaaah!!!!!

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  10. This is a beautiful sentiment, but I disagree with a bit of it. The author claims it is not true passion until you and your husband go through pregnancy and raising a child together. My husband and I will not have any children, but I believe that we still experience true passion. I know that this “letter” is to her daughter about her own personal experiences. I am sure the author was not intending to hurt, but these words stung as I read them; knowing I will never have kids but inferring from this article that the love between my husband and I is not true passion and will never be true passion.

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    1. I felt the exact same way reading this… I’m sorry, but it is natural for a man to love you unconditionally, through all the baby puke and poop and messy hair. It’s been that way forever! If he doesn’t, all that means is that he is a jerk who was raised poorly. But for a man to stick by your side through 10+ years of infertility treatments, CRAZY (worse than pregnancy) hormones, deep depression, 100 pound weight gain (aka, ALL the pregnancy drawbacks and and NONE of the rewards), THAT is amazing, passionate love!! And the cherry on the top is his AMAZING heart for our adopted daughters who came to us all at once at ages 2, 4, and 5 (talk about stress!)! He is the most amazing husband and father I have ever seen, and he technically doesn’t have any “blood ties” to any of us. He chooses to stay, even though he knows someone else could easily give him a child. THAT, my friends, is true passion!

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    2. I got the same feeling from this.
      “its not true passion”… who’s to say that? You really can’t.
      You don’t have to go through children, age, or health issues to be sure of it.
      She’s just saying a man with true passion for a women will love her through all of it.

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  11. Ladies, if you have this, treasure and nurture it…with God’s help I have been a husband much like this for nearly fifty years in a nearly sexless marriage. My wife, while appreciative (I think), does not like intimacy of any kind. I await Gods restoration.

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  12. Oh my word this is amazing!! I am 32 weeks pregnant with #5 (6,2, twins in heaven) and the first 20 weeks my hubby could only kiss me due to a rather intense ovarian cyst. There have been more pregnant days than non pregnant days in the last 3 yrs of marriage…and many of those “kisses only”. My hubby has been patient, loving and made sure I felt loved, beautiful and wanted. I am more in love with him and passionate about him now than I was when we first were married. Thank you for sharing this!!

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  13. Beautifully written….if they knew the love that our hearts explodes with for them. If they could see them the way we see them, perfect, worth waiting for, deserving and beautiful. Oh sweet girls…bless you on this journey.

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  14. I’m not criticizing you… Please take this as a review. Your article really doesn’t come out clear on the topic. The topic and content seem to have no relation. While the content is very nice indeed and the idea too, but maybe the topic should have just been something else. The content doesn’t talk about sex! It talks of the importance of a loyal man. That’s just what I felt like… Agree to disagree though. I like the article by the way. I’m a journalist…

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  15. This is such a wonderful post. My husband and I have been married several years and suffered a second trimester loss 6 years ago. We have been unable to get pregnant since and the loss really affected me mentally and emotionally. It was hard to be intimate after. My husband waited for me and never pressured me until I was ready. He waited with such patience and love that to this day I wonder why God blessed me with this man. Though I can’t relate with the baby vomit and late night fevers, I can relate to the baby blues and crazy hormones. I can relate to the fear of infertility leading to infidelity. However, he waits for me and he waits with me for our perfect timing will someday come and we will look back at all of these years with smiles knowing it was worth it. Until then, crazy hot sex.
    xoxo- K.

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    1. K, I canot begin to tell you how much your story has touched me. My heart both breaks for you and rejoices in the beautiful relationship you two have! Thank you for sharing this.

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  16. Well written, beautifully said. I’m a mother if 4, 15 years into marriage. Never realized what a wonderful man I married until midnight child sickness and horrible post partum x4, he has loved me through it all, helped me side by side, often pulled more than his share. Wouldn’t trade him for anything.

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  17. What a great article. I am married to an incredible woman who has given me two incredible children and is a great mom to my two children from my first marriage. It is so incredible to think that I did all that I was suppose to do in my first marriage that this article talks about, and I come home from work one day and she tells me to get out. Good for me because I found a woman who can reciprocate the same love. I can’t imagine those who are so miserable that they take their pain out on those who love them completely. In the end, ones selfish and irrational behavior can lead to another walking through hell to find heaven.

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  18. A Facebook friend of mine shared this blog article today. I read it and had to share myself. (And my share has been shared at least once.) My wife and I have two boys, 18 and 23. So they are in that life stage you are talking about. I would hope that our sons would be complete gentlemen as women come into their lives. Your description of what a real man looks like offers a good framework, a starting point, for male behavior. Thank you for sharing.

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    1. Michael, I cannot tell you how much your words have touched me! Thank you for sharing, for commenting, for being that man of passion and teaching it to your sons as well.

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  19. Please don’t hate me for pointing out it’s “high-HEELED” not “high-healed”.
    Sorry. These things stand out to me and I can’t help but see them and get distracted by them.
    But otherwise, EXCELLENT!! This is so spot on!

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    1. Yes, I know. I caught it very early on but was too scared to change it in deep terror of the link breaking (which it already did at the very beginning). I figured out how to do so without messing things up though, so you can know read it without the cringe. πŸ™‚

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  20. I have read so many of these comments and now I must comment. Sasha wrote a beautiful letter to her young daughter not just on what true passion is but true LOVE. I didn’t do things the right way. I was an unwed mother at 17 34 years ago. I met my husband when my daughter was 8 months old. He was a virgin and 26, we married within 3 months. That is the first time I ever waited. It was worth it. He adopted my daughter then we had 3 more children. We had a wonderful passionate marriage unlike any other I had known by friends or family until the day he died 11-28-94. When you give yourself sexually, it’s more than a physical act. It is an emotional and spiritual act as well. You make a connection with that person. That’s why it’s important to wait! Then everyday life creates an even bigger bond. It becomes the couples responsibility to nurture that bond! Then there is no room for anyone else in the relationship.

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    1. Such a beautiful story of passion!! I couldn’t agree more about it being just as much an emotional and spiritual act, as a physical one. Thank you for sharing these precious details of your life. Love this.

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  21. Oh, you had me in tears. I am so thankful for my husband. Baby #6 is due any moment, our oldest will be turning 8 next week, my husband has been so patient and faithful. Could not walk through this journey without him.

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    1. Jamie, you are one BUSY momma!! And I thought two kids was a lot of work! πŸ˜‰ I am so glad it touched you, and even more happy you found such an amazing guy!

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  22. I’m only a college girl, but I know that through Christ, I will find a man that will show his love for me like this. I can’t wait to see who God puts in my life! This will be a blog that I will think of while finding my husband!

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    1. College girl, I know he is out there for you!! Thanks for your encouragement! Such a fun time you are living right now–soak up every moment of the college years. πŸ™‚

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  23. You know you don’t have to get married. You can be with a man or woman for the rest of your life have children and yet never sign a marriage contract. Also there is nothing wrong with not having children too.

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  24. What a beautiful and profound way of both describing your husband and having “the talk” with your daughter. I believe most of us share these insecurities and it’s refreshing to see it in black and white. This is sweetly written and so so SO relatable. ❀

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    1. Thank you so much Jen! I really did open up myself here in so many different ways. I have definitely received my share of “hate” mail and many comments have stung deeply. To hear this from you was like a breathe of fresh air today. Thanks!!

      Liked by 1 person

  25. After three babies and 19 years together my husband found a 20 year old, who could be his daughter, to start a relationship with. It is awesome to hear that there can be a different story. I couldn’t fight for this man I had called my soulmate, best friend and love of my life because he proved over and over that he couldn’t be there in my most desperate times of need. I can only hope there are those out there who can be that man.

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  26. Great words of wisdom! I don’t want to rehash what everyone else has said, but the world and media have definitely given us a false sense of what lave truly is. We men need to set the example for our children.

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  27. Yes, to what you wrote. I have three baby girls and I pray everyday that they find this deep passionate love. My husband and I walked through four years of infertility…. the Dr visits, hormone replacement, weight gain, early loss eight times, bitterness, depression, snot- nosed crying. I was beautiful to him through it all. I was beautiful when I was diagnosed with diabetes. I was beautiful when I was told we would never have children – when I was sure I was less than a woman because I couldn’t be fruitful. When others told me how his whole life all he wanted was a family he told me all he wanted was me. Then we adopted a baby girl had her for six months and lost her to a bio family member. He loved me through our deepest loss. He loved when our miracle happened and we got pregnant. He loved me through the weight gain and all the ugly as well as the miraculous memory making. Now with three baby girls under three he lovess me…. loose skin from the c- sections, crazy frizzy hair, mom at the end of my wits in pants that are six sizes bigger than we started this journey. My love had loved me through it all.

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    1. First off, thank you for sharing these raw details of your life. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you have went through. I am so glad you have shared it here though. True passion for sure–passion beyond passion. SO happy you have your three little loves too!!!

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  28. This was so beautifully written and most importantly, so true! We finally got our bed back after co-sleeping with the little one for 2 years. True patience equals true passion.

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  29. I really think this might send a message you don’t intend. If I’m reading it right, you’re saying your daughter won’t know true passion until she has children. How many chances do you think she should take before she finds the one that’s truly passionate about her? And what’s worse, what if she cannot have children? How would this letter make her feel? Aside from that, your story implies your husband was passionate all along, so maybe it would be better to show her how to know a person truly loves you before she has children with them. You missed it, but that doesn’t mean she has to, and hopefully she won’t need to have children with someone to figure out they’re truly passionate about her

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