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Crazy Hot Sex

engagment

To my dear daughter,

As you grow, many boys will enter your years. They will speak words of love and passion, of wanting you–all of you.

Their sex will be lacking.

Believe me, dear girl, I know what crazy hot lovemaking is made of. Until the boy can assure you of the following, it is not true passion.

If he can patiently wait for over three years. From pregnant to nursing to pregnant to nursing, with your hormones fierce, and desire often dead. “Please, just let me sleep. I am so tired.” will be your common response. Until he can love you still, choose you still, it is not true passion.

If He can call you beautiful when even your feet are swollen from baby belly. Call you sexy when your legs run thick with varicose veins from the same. Call you perfect after your belly hangs loose with skin and your eyes deep with bags. Until he can still call you these things, it is not true passion.

You may throw things at him, yell words of hate and shame as you feel the hormones of post baby blues run deep. Until he can love you even deeper, piercing through the pain into your heart, it is not true passion.

He will go to work where there are other women, pretty women. Pretty women with no children and varicose free, high heeled legs. I know the way they toss their pretty little hair to and fro.

He will come home to you, your hair pulled back into theΒ frizziest of buns, a baby on your hip, spit up down your arm. Until he can come home to you–you with no makeup–and express there is nothing as wonderful as seeing your face, it is not true passion.

You are touched by his love,Β and whisper tonight you will return the favor. Tonight there is a crying baby and a feverish toddler who just joined you in bed. Until he can laugh, fully laugh about this, it is not true passion.

Can a man like this exist? Yes, dear girl, and you call him your dad. He has shown me what true love is.

The hormones have faded. I am not pregnant. I am not nursing. My own passion has returned. Can I truly say “returned?” I really had no idea what passion was. So intense, so raw, I cannot put it fully into words.

I am not in love with just another man. I am in love with the father of my babies. The one who called me beautiful through nights of ugly, called me strong through days of weak, called me valuable through days of uncertainty. The one who waited patiently for me. Who washed the sheets of vomit as I bathed the fever infested child.

This is love dear girl. This is passion. It is being one with he who is going to be there for you, till death do you part, regardless. It is something mystical and unexplainable. It is something crazy. It is crazy hot sex.

Wait dear girl. Wait for him. There is nothing so beautiful as finding your heart in his, the one who will wait for you–even after marriage.

Love,

Mom

watermellon baby

 

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429 thoughts on “Crazy Hot Sex

    1. The title is what it is to poke it in the eyes of the status quo. Because the status quo portrays marriage as hopelessly boring, that any possibility for having crazy hot sex withers up and dies after you’re married, that the idea of having sex with only one person for the rest of your life can’t possibly be sexy or thrilling, and that remaining pure and faithful to your spouse is a living hell, a fate worse than death.

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  1. Beautiful thoughts and reality, I just become daddy last month and I have seen this and strongly agree with the author and wants to tell yes I have waited and will keep my promises to her.. Love u trips…

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  2. Reblogged this on From Cubicle to Home and commented:
    I loved this entry so, so much from Sasha. We are the example to our children of what love should be. I can only hope my boys find love like we have. Love is the person who can see you through the happy, beautiful, but also sad, and ugly. He tells me I’m sexy when I feel ugly. He laughs with me when we watch our boys. He holds me when I sob uncontrollably over my Mother. Of course we also bark at each other, and bicker. Eli and I have had our major up and downs. However, I would want no one else to share this journey with ❀

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  3. Its good to read your blog, i agree title bring so many guys to read this. But this is mostly relevant for girls and boys who fell in love(not real love) a kind of distraction. Your blog is perfect answer for those who want to search what is real love.

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  4. I shared your link on my Facebook page, accompanied with this comment:

    “As a father of 2 and a husband of 34 years, I must say the lady who wrote this blog is spot on with her description of what true love and true passion is all about. Those who find it in this life are very fortunate indeed!”

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  5. Reblogged this on threemrs and commented:
    I believe in waiting for marriage & I love this mom’s letter to her daughter. I pray PRAY that my children will protect their hearts and bodies, that they will stay pure, that they’re ears will hear my advise and that they’re sex life will be filled with love and passion with their loving spouse.

    -Candyce

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  6. I am in the throes of this right now. Knee deep in small children and exhaustion. It’s reaffirming to know womanhood [outside of motherhood] resurfacing happens. Thank you.

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  7. Hi… i am shankar father of my beautiful daughter shraddha and lover of my wife manju. Its great to be alive in love!!! Fatherhood is also amazing and heartfilling… great tittle and nice know such things which we follow unknowingly!!!! Beauuuuty!!

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  8. This post just reminds me of how blessed I am to have my husband. He does and says all those things and more. Whenever I talk to single friends of mine, I tell them they haven’t found the right man until they know he will be THAT man. The man that stays up with you while the baby cries, the man who after a year still gets up for middle of the night feedings, the man who comes into the kitchen while you’re cooking and cleaning to dance with you even if there isn’t any music playing. This post just makes me want to yell, “YAAAASSSSSSSS!!!!”

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  9. Sasha, this post brought tears to my eyes. I just had my first baby, am exhausted and am definitely in the “3 year” window that you describe. I ask myself constantly, “will I ever feel sexy again?” ” will we ever have passion again?” “am I still attractive now that I’m a mom?” and so many other questions like this. Your words give me hope that marriages come out of this stage and come out stronger. Thank you so much for sharing!

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  10. It was heart felt! I’m not a pregnant woman, I’m not a woman, I’m not even a girl- I’m just a teenage boy yet I could feel the passion behind this post. I could feel the emotion and that motherly care. Thanks a lot for these wonderful words and I wish your whole family, a happy & prosperous life ahead! πŸ™‚

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  11. This is so amazing. I really have not read another post that I loved as much as this one. I had tears in my eyes. You have a good man. And I am so happy to have my good man, too. Thank you very much for sharing!

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  12. Articles like this are so depressing to me, especially when the comments are all in agreement. I’ve been with a good man for well over 20 years and life has been good but I’ve never had this. He’s been supportive but not involved like you describe. He’s a good father and he is committed to me through thick and thin, good and bad. But I long for that passion you describe. It’s just not there. I want more. I want it so badly. Now that our marriage is on the brink of divorce, I am overwhelmed by the guilt of wanting to walk away. I know I will probably never find better. He was my high school sweetheart, my lifelong companion and friend, and the father of my children. We have forgiven each other for betrayal and shortcomings over and over and we have shared many wonderful happy memories. Our life together has been good. But I am also overwhelmed by grief. I mourn for the life of passion I have never had and will likely never have with him. There was a time when it didn’t matter, but lately it matters a whole lot. I am consumed by that need. And I am terrified that I will never know it.

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    1. Reading your comment makes me think, I often feel that I am you, early in your marriage. And I’m sad for you, and what could possibly be me. I often wonder what to do, because I don’t want to feel like that now, or later. I’m sorry you have to feel that way and I hope you can come to some sort of peace.

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      1. I wish I had some wise advice for you, but I don’t. Thank you for responding. I’ve always told myself that the fairy tale isn’t real, and for the most part I know it truly isn’t like most women dream of. Life is hard and people are flawed. But then I read stories like this and see all the comments of women who have this kind of relationship with their husbands and it makes me sad. You mean it is real? Why can’t I have that? All I know is if you’re not happy now, it won’t likely get better unless you change something. Become better communicators, talk to a professional, make some changes now before you look back and change looks impossible. That mid-life realization will hit you out of nowhere and really knock the wind out of you. My longing led to an affair, and I never thought I was capable of anything like that. And now I’m at constant war with myself, the guilt and fear of leaving v. the loneliness and dysphoria of staying. I just don’t know what to do. I hope you find your own peace. Thank you again for reaching out to me. It’s a really lonely battle.

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        1. Dear C,

          I would first and foremost like to tell you that I for one have experienced this exact same article exactly as described and in the same breath I can sympathize with you as well because I have been in your shoes and my marriage was on the brink of divorce as well. There is one deciding factor and pivoting point that changed it all!! I will tell you that the only way to true love is the one that is sacrificial. There are 3 different levels of love:

          1st level is “Eros” where we get the root word of Erotic or Erotica where this love is rampant uncontrolled and unbridled “lust” is what I like to call it and where the “world” and “Hollywood” glamorize it and lift this type of love on a pedestal and say that this is where you will find passion and you will feel complete! THIS IS NOT THE CORRECT LOVE

          2nd level is “Filios” coming from the Greek word fraternal or brotherly love where you can love your parents or siblings or close friends. This again is a higher level of love that we can experience as humans endowed with the capacity to love but again this is not the highest level of love. This level does give you some satisfaction of your soul when you have loving parents, brothers and sisters that love you unconditionally and even brothers and sisters in faith that love Jesus Christ and love one another.

          3rd level is “Agape” and this level of love is unexplainable. This level of love can only be explained by looking at the cross of Jesus Christ where God became man and chose to die in my place, because I was a vile sinful man, and I was a selfish human being beyond belief and in my selfish state Jesus Christ said, “because I love you I am wiling to die for you in your place that way you may have life” when I saw this it melted my heart and I immediately repented of my selfish life where I would constantly place demands on my wife and constantly think about my selfish desires and from that moment on I asked the Lord to help me love in this way. I prayed to God that He may fill me with this type of love where I can love in this way, where I can love my wife on this level and praise be to Almighty God that He has entered my life and I am telling you C with all due respect that God can do the same for you and your husband. The only way to fulfill the words of this article is when God transforms either you or your husband (I’m assuming your husband is not born again and not full of the Lords Holy Spirit) since he cannot love unconditionally and cannot love with selfless love without asking for anything in return. This life I’m telling you very truthfully since November 17, 2011 has been a reality in my life and since then our home has been heaven on earth. This is true and this is our God who is alive and can do the same for you and your husband. Come to the Lord and ask Him to transform you and your husband and He will do the same for both of you.
          God must be the foundation of your marriage.

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    2. Have you tried something like the 5 Love Languages? It is possible that you just haven’t been speaking each other’s love language. It is something most people wouldn’t think about until it is shown to them, but then it makes sense. I would give the situation over to God as He can fix anything if it is His will. Love and peace to you.

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    3. Please go and speak to a marriage and family therapist of the passion is gone from your marriage. Sometimes it takes some hard work and skills to make it work. Divorce is not the only way, oftentimes not the best way either.

      Like

    4. Dear C,

      I would first and foremost like to tell you that I for one have experienced this exact same article exactly as described and in the same breath I can sympathize with you as well because I have been in your shoes and my marriage was on the brink of divorce as well. There is one deciding factor and pivoting point that changed it all!! I will tell you that the only way to true love is the one that is sacrificial. There are 3 different levels of love:

      1st level is “Eros” where we get the root word of Erotic or Erotica where this love is rampant uncontrolled and unbridled “lust” is what I like to call it and where the “world” and “Hollywood” glamorize it and lift this type of love on a pedestal and say that this is where you will find passion and you will feel complete! THIS IS NOT THE CORRECT LOVE

      2nd level is “Filios” coming from the Greek word fraternal or brotherly love where you can love your parents or siblings or close friends. This again is a higher level of love that we can experience as humans endowed with the capacity to love but again this is not the highest level of love. This level does give you some satisfaction of your soul when you have loving parents, brothers and sisters that love you unconditionally and even brothers and sisters in faith that love Jesus Christ and love one another.

      3rd level is “Agape” and this level of love is unexplainable. This level of love can only be explained by looking at the cross of Jesus Christ where God became man and chose to die in my place, because I was a vile sinful man, and I was a selfish human being beyond belief and in my selfish state Jesus Christ said, “because I love you I am wiling to die for you in your place that way you may have life” when I saw this it melted my heart and I immediately repented of my selfish life where I would constantly place demands on my wife and constantly think about my selfish desires and from that moment on I asked the Lord to help me love in this way. I prayed to God that He may fill me with this type of love where I can love in this way, where I can love my wife on this level and praise be to Almighty God that He has entered my life and I am telling you C with all due respect that God can do the same for you and your husband. The only way to fulfill the words of this article is when God transforms either you or your husband (I’m assuming your husband is not born again and not full of the Lords Holy Spirit) since he cannot love unconditionally and cannot love with selfless love without asking for anything in return. This life I’m telling you very truthfully since November 17, 2011 has been a reality in my life and since then our home has been heaven on earth. This is true and this is our God who is alive and can do the same for you and your husband. Come to the Lord and ask Him to transform you and your husband and He will do the same for both of you.
      God must be the foundation of your marriage.

      Like

    5. Sometimes marriages are just “comfortable” and not all “passion.” Please don’t feel that your good marriage is not enough! Be thankful for a good man (your words) who provides, who is not having an affair, shows love and helps with your children. In other words, don’t compare your marriage to someone else’s. Ask God to bring peace and contentment to your life. Marriages go through “stages” You know that because you have been married 20 years. We go through life’s changes and it changes us. With marriages falling apart around us and everyone saying that you could have “better,” we focus on the negative. Don’t give up. Keep loving your man. Divorce is painful for all. Give it your best and the best will be yet to come! Find a friend to encourage you to stay.

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