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Crazy Hot Sex

Sasha

engagment

To my dear daughter,

As you grow, many boys will enter your years. They will speak words of love and passion, of wanting you–all of you.

Their sex will be lacking.

Believe me, dear girl, I know what crazy hot lovemaking is made of. Until the boy can assure you of the following, it is not true passion.

If he can patiently wait for over three years. From pregnant to nursing to pregnant to nursing, with your hormones fierce, and desire often dead. “Please, just let me sleep. I am so tired.” will be your common response. Until he can love you still, choose you still, it is not true passion.

If He can call you beautiful when even your feet are swollen from baby belly. Call you sexy when your legs run thick with varicose veins from the same. Call you perfect after your belly hangs loose with skin and your eyes deep with bags. Until he can still call you these things, it is not true passion.

You may throw things at him, yell words of hate and shame as you feel the hormones of post baby blues run deep. Until he can love you even deeper, piercing through the pain into your heart, it is not true passion.

He will go to work where there are other women, pretty women. Pretty women with no children and varicose free, high heeled legs. I know the way they toss their pretty little hair to and fro.

He will come home to you, your hair pulled back into the frizziest of buns, a baby on your hip, spit up down your arm. Until he can come home to you–you with no makeup–and express there is nothing as wonderful as seeing your face, it is not true passion.

You are touched by his love, and whisper tonight you will return the favor. Tonight there is a crying baby and a feverish toddler who just joined you in bed. Until he can laugh, fully laugh about this, it is not true passion.

Can a man like this exist? Yes, dear girl, and you call him your dad. He has shown me what true love is.

The hormones have faded. I am not pregnant. I am not nursing. My own passion has returned. Can I truly say “returned?” I really had no idea what passion was. So intense, so raw, I cannot put it fully into words.

I am not in love with just another man. I am in love with the father of my babies. The one who called me beautiful through nights of ugly, called me strong through days of weak, called me valuable through days of uncertainty. The one who waited patiently for me. Who washed the sheets of vomit as I bathed the fever infested child.

This is love dear girl. This is passion. It is being one with he who is going to be there for you, till death do you part, regardless. It is something mystical and unexplainable. It is something crazy. It is crazy hot sex.

Wait dear girl. Wait for him. There is nothing so beautiful as finding your heart in his, the one who will wait for you–even after marriage.

Love,

Mom

watermellon baby

 

433 thoughts on “Crazy Hot Sex”

    1. I wrote this from the women’s perspective and therefore adressed it to my daughter. However, it is my heart’s deep desire that my son grows to love with this passion as well.

      And what better way to teach our children than to simply live it! Thanks for sharing this!

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      2. Thank you Sasha!!! How wonderful to see my feelings written!!! My wonderful husband is this way!! I am SO BLESSED!! I will have him read your article too! Too many women are married to truly selfish men who think their wives are there to meet their sexual needs without any compassion for her mothering status. I feel so sad for them. Again, I am blessed and extremely thankful!!

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    1. You have no idea how much I love to hear this! Yours are good tears I know from what you speak of your lover. 😉 I too hope my son will grow up to be his dad.

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  8. I don’t even know what to say, I’m at a loss for words. But, this is really so beautiful. It took me back to the years my husband has also carried me through. But through it all he has loved me madly and deeply and there is nothing in the world I could be more blessed to have. Thank you for helping me appreciate my husbands enduring love. ☺ beautiful post, Sasha.

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  9. I remember when I started following your blog that I wondered where your husband was. I never saw him in your writings. I understand that yours is a blog about motherhood and children, and bloggers with a theme like to stay on point, but I wasn’t sure if he just wasn’t there much, because I know that good fathers and husbands play an integral role in the family. Having read this, I am not only relieved to know he is faithfully standing by, but honored to be following you, especially as a father and ex-husband who has had both titles stripped of him. It is not only refreshing but encouraging to know that there are faithful women like you, and patient men like your husband, who are loving each other sacrificially, and understanding that true beauty and passion come through commitment and selflessness instead of high heels and charm. The greatest witness you can give your two children, and especially your daughter, is the love and respect you render to your husband. Thanks to both of you for sharing this.

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    1. John, I mention him from time to time but perhaps I need to include his pic in my “about me” page! 😃 I agree though that the greatest way we can “teach” our children what a good marriage looks like is by showing them. Thanks for taking the time to comment!

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    1. Unsung hero. I know we hear a lot about how much moms are the unsung heroes, and I love it! However, sometimes the fathers need to be recognized as well. 😃

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  19. One of the most beautiful homages to a good marriage I have ever read. It brought back so many memories of when my Littles were truly little. As your children grow, and you find yourself still occasionally having days of ugly and uncertainty, you will love your husband more deeply than you do even now. Nothing like having a true rock to lean against. My prayer is your lovely daughter finds the same. And my boys grow up to be like our husbands.

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    1. I was thinking even as I wrote this how much the love must grow as the years go by. Thank you so, so much for sharing the perspective of one who has been married so much longer than myself! I absolutely loved reading this!

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  20. Reblogged this on Coffee Mugs and Sippy Cups and commented:
    This is a powerful post! Having four daughters, I pray they can find a husband who loves them unconditionally, like the man described in this post. Like their Daddy. I am a blessed woman to have a man who still finds me attractive after six children, a man who relentlessly gets up with the kids at night, a man who works hard at his jobs and comes home to the “trenches” at night. I love him now more than I did when I said “I do” eight years ago. This post is a must-read!

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    1. What an amazing man you have and such a beautiful way you have honored him in these words. I cannot express how much I love this! Thanks for sharing as well! 😃

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  24. Pingback: Crazy Hot Sex | MomLife Now

  25. I’m sorry, it kind of sounds like “unless you have had kids, your love/sex is not truly passionate”. What about the women who can’t have kids, or haven’t yet? I can’t believe you would say your sex is missing something unless he’s seen you carry, deliver, and nurse a baby.

    There are different ways of feeling not pretty, or not sexy, or exhausted beyond belief, being at your lowest low – without having kids.

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    1. I completely agree! There are so MANY different ways to express one’s love for another. My objective was to express the beauty in the sometimes difficult stages of early motherhood. However, I am so glad you brought out this point!!! Cheers to all the amazing men out there, who love us through our lowest lows, regardless. 🙂

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    2. That’s definitely not what she was saying…she was using her experience as examples of feeling down, ugly, weak, etc. as a way to demonstrate how a husband should see you and treat you during those times. It doesn’t have to be limited to those experiences. I thought this blog was beautiful and it applies to every wife, with kids or without kids!

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  26. Love this!! You are magic with words. I’m jealy! Every time Little Man catches my husband and I loving on each other (not crazy hot sex but kisses in the kitchen or random hugs) he always tries to pull us apart or laughs at us but I know he will have a wonderful example of true love!!

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    1. Haha, my daughter is the same way! She always squeezes herself directly in the middle to soak up all the kisses for herself. 🙂 Love stealers and all, I also think it is the greatest way for them to learn what true love really means. 🙂

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  27. What an amazing letter! This is so true… This man does exist! We are experiencing this right now for the second time with baby #2. I feel so blessed to have him:) True unconditional love!

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    1. Anna, I am so happy you have such an awesome guy to support and love you! Congrats on #2! I am of the personal opinion that there is nothing greater than having a second one. . . even if it may mean some extra makeup less days. 🙂

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      1. Haha thanks lovely. I’m 11 weeks today so I’m subtly out on the blog but not in my ‘real’ life 😉 it’s been tough this time around. Bring on second trimester energy!

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  29. Sasha what a lovely letter for your daughter. Men are amazing in so many ways. Their ability to care unconditionally with passion is to be celebrated. I so love my husband for caring deeply for me through my ups and downs. Your post helps remind me tonight what a wonderful husband I have. He puts my needs first before his and this is real love. It makes me want to have crazy sex with him.

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  32. This is so beautifully written! It makes me appreciate and love my husband so much.. and realize that I need to tell him more often how truly wonderful he is! I’m going to share with my 11 year-old daughter and 12 year-old son. Since their understanding of “crazy hot sex” is limited, I’m going to re-title it for them- “True Passion”. I think that is the prevalent theme in your message, and it’s awesome! Of course, for my husband, I’ll share with him your original title!!

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    1. Jenan, I cannot tell you how honored. . . more like completely floored I am that you would share this with your own two children. I am so glad it impacted you so and pray it will also set something going in their own precious hearts.

      Oh, and I think “True Passion” sounds just right for that age. 😉

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  34. I believe this happens through time. I know for myself I haven’t been the right kind of husband in my early years of marriage. My wife and I have been married for over 13 years with 9 wonderful children. Patience develops in time. I’m am surprised that we haven’t been divorced in the early part of those years. Now I have learned so so much over the years of what it takes to really love my wife. My parents never taught me verbally on this subject, but one thing I did learn from my dad is his demonstration of loving my mom Unconditionally through many circumstances. I believe for the most part that this kind of love on develops through time and patience. Some learn the hard way and I pray that my kids learn early through my demonstration of my Unconditionally love to my wife.

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    1. Unconditional love really is the key to it all. Thank you so much for sharing your story here Mike!! Wow, 9 children! And I thought two was a lot of work. 😉 I definitely take my hat off to your beautiful wife. To you as well for loving her through it all.

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  35. Just wait. All that can be true for 20+ years….and then it can all change. Statistics state more than likely it will. So enjoy it while its hot.

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  37. I have been married for 44 years, and I can say amen and attest to the beauty of having one who has loved like this. There is nothing like it.

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  38. This is perfect. So well written – and precise. Loved the “varicose vein free and high heeled legs” lol👌 so thankful for the men who love us as we are. How blessed we are to be a living example to our little ones.

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  39. You gave me goosebumps…I have 2 daughters and a wonderful husband who is making very big shoes to fill…to him I know that no man will ever be good enough for them…but to me I only wish they find the love I found in their daddy.

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    1. I think it is the opinion of every loving dad: no man is good enough for his daughter. 🙂 Trisha, I too hope and pray my daughter will find herself in the arms of one so great.

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  40. This is a very sweet letter, but also somehow sad for those women, one of whom could be your daughter someday, that may never be pregnant or have children. I understand your perspective and again, I enjoyed your post but I also believe that motherhood can’t possibly be the only gateway, as you put it, to “real passion”. Just some thoughts…

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    1. To those men who have stood by their wives as they mourned the bitter loss of miscarriage, who have held on tight as her body collapsed from the the report she would never have a baby of her own. To those men, whose own hearts are broken in pain, and yet still offer strength to their wife, this is passion like no other.

      My story is simply one of many different kinds. Numerous men who have shown what true sacrificial love really is. I was not trying to make a cookie cutter man, but to simply give an example. It is those who have loved their wives regardless, through the highs and lows, the pains and joys.

      Thank you for pointing this out Sarah!

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  41. Sasha, this is amazing. I am the author of a post called “I Waited Until My Wedding to Lose My Virginity… And it’s the Best Thing I Ever Did” (a response to the viral post that said the opposite). I followed it with a series for girls about sex, since so, so many have no idea what a healthy, God-honoring sex life in marriage should look like. But I’ve been married only approximately a year, and can’t speak to this after children. That’s why I LOVE your post. It helped me see the future my husband and I can have. Thank you for that!

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    1. Phylicia, it only gets better–so much better! 😉 🙂 I LOVED one of the comments above from an individual who has been married for 44 years and still could attest to this type of passion! I really believe it only grows as long as sacrificial love remains the focus. Could you give me the link to your post? I would like to read it.

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      1. Well that’s even more encouraging! My husband has always been so sweet to me and I can’t imagine him changing that in the next 43 years 🙂 And sure, here is a link to the “I Waited” post: http://phyliciadelta.com/i-waited-until-my-wedding-to-lose-my-virginity-and-its-the-best-thing-i-ever-did/. And all the posts in the Other Virgin Diaries series are here: http://phyliciadelta.com/the-other-virgin-diaries/. I’ll definitely revisit your blog!

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  42. This is beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes. I will definitely be showing my husband and telling my daughter the same thing some day. ❤

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  43. My dear Sasha,
    Two things. 1. I loved this post. I have to admit, when I first saw the title, I thought, “Oh no! Sasha got spammed!” (so glad I kept reading;) You have handled such a delicate topic in such a real, genuine way! (I love the prego pic!) And I love how you honored your husband and gave some insight to real love and sex in a way that it is meant to be (and not how our culture often warps it!) So true and beautiful. 2. Congrats on going viral!!! 🙂 May the Lord keep leading in you in the incredible gift He has given you! Much love.;)

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  44. It is a little bit TMI to share with your daughter…especially since most girls don’t want to think about their parents having hot, passionate sex. But I would really advise you to be careful to tell your daughter that if you wait, you will have this. It doesn’t always happen. Some girls wait, and their husband’s treat them like dirt. I think what you meant was, that if you choose the right man, he will love you even when sex is not passionate and hot and heavy.

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    1. Yes, wait for the right man. The one who will love you through both the good and bad. Yes, I could totally see my daughter reading this someday and saying “Gross mom!” 😉

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  45. Oh my word that was amazing. All the thoughts I have always had but so well written and spoken. Thank you so much I plan to print and save for all my children one day. And thank you for reminding me and my unconditional love me and my husband share.

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  46. Thank you for this. This made tears roll down my cheeks. I am currently eight months pregnant with girl #2 and I’m on my way out of a job. My emotions are rampant at the moment. I feel so honored to have my husband by my side cheering me on day in, day out.

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    1. Lexi, you are definitely in the thick of things! It is the most beautiful, yet emotional stages in life I think. How wonderful you have that one who is there to support you through it all!

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  47. Wow loved it…. i pray every day for a women that i can champion as your husband has championed you in encouragement love and commitment… That i can be a man that protects the sensitivity of my wife through all the our days and continually persue her dreams with her and along side her as i go after mine to allow her to be all that she can be and wants to be.. cant wait for the days of breakthrough the days of grinding it out to find out what the real issue is the days of crying wondering why she might feel so distant and the ones of longing till she comes home. Also to have those same talks with our children and beforehand asking eachother what are we going to say? no clue…. but thank you for being so open and transparent i truly cant wait…. look at this you brought out such a poetic picture from me you truly have a gift of mothering and inspiring thank you…. Blessings to you and your awesome family….

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  49. Beautiful and true. Tears are streaming down my face. I am a lucky person to have found such a supportive, patient, loving, compassionate husband to me and father to our little girl. Parenting is no easy feat and I can’t imagine doing it without him by my side.

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  50. Surprised to be the only one to say this, but this is completely unbiblical. The bible says “do not deprive one another” (1 cor 7). I understand where the author is coming from but the article has no conditions or qualifications. Yes motherhood is extremly taxing and wearisome but the christian mother is a wife first, she cannot deprive her husband whenever she feels like it. Imagine if I as a man were to write an article to my son about how a good woman shouldnt ask for help around the house after a long day of work. That is the equivalent of this article, which would be horrible. As christian lovers we commit to each other to love one another through the difficult and the less difficult, yes a man should be able to wait skme days but no woman should starve her husband. This must happen by the grace of God. Satan would love to destroy marriages through a lack of intimacy and devotion.

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    1. That’s not at all what she’s saying…having a crying baby and a sick toddler interrupt intimacy is hardly depriving her husband…that’s called life and parenting. And being too tired for intimacy sometimes is not being sinful…being up every two hours to nurse is very physically exhausting. Being pregnant is exhausting. A husband who understands this is a true blessing, and that’s what she’s saying. She’s not saying he went three years without sex. The point of the article is that a man should love his wife enough to get through these tiring times, and with that comes even more intimacy and passion.

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