Inspirational · Real and Raw

In This Moment

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Life has hit me wrong, left me hurting. The pain seems more than I can bear right now. I enter your room and am immediately met with four little feet charging straight ahead, nearly knocking me over in embrace. “Mommy! Mommy!” you squeal.

Here with you, in this moment, the pain somehow fades to sweet peace and I smile.

We are trying to reach our destination, or, I am trying to reach it. You do not cease to move at the speed of snails, stopping at each new wood chip, rock, piece of trash. I am busy, we do not have time. You hear the music playing from one of the storefronts and begin to dance–one of you a ballerina, the other a simple knee bopper.

Here with you, in this moment, life’s busyness can wait another day.

I am exhausted, wiped, my fourteen hour work day with you has been spent. Still, you do not sleep. I want to go climb in bed and cry. I hear the two of you playing together, laughing, laughing, laughing. I too begin to laugh at your silly antics and contagious joy.

Here with you, in this moment, I have found strength once again.

It is constant, non stop chaos these days. I am out of breathe by the time we finally make it to the zoo this morning. I look at your faces, barely able to contain yourselves from the excitement of seeing a real live elephant for the first time.

Here with you, in this moment, I wish to spend my every last chaotic minute watching the wonder in your eyes.

I am trying to get us all inside. You are crying, screaming. Everyone is over tired and nothing can calm the emotions. My arms feel they will fall off from holding two toddlers at the same time. I grab some warm milk and cuddle you to sleep. I gaze at your sleeping faces.

Here with you, in this moment, I sit in awe, allowing the tears to run freely

Here with you, life has meaning. Here with you, my heart resides. It is in these moments, these daily glimpses of heaven itself, I remember why there is no greater thing in life than being Mom.

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46 thoughts on “In This Moment

    1. Yes Torrie, they somehow know how to make simple everyday moments suddenly pure glimpses of beauty incarnate. Even now, I can imagine the ways your son creates these moments of wonder in your life. Thanks to your words of “advise,” I am embracing the growing up of their lives, excited for all which is still to come!

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  1. I love this! You’ve described “Mommyhood” so well. Just when it seems like the world is crashing down around us, one look at our children makes it all disappear- and we’re reminded of why we do what we do 🙂 Beautiful post. Thank you!

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    1. Thank you!! Yes, they seem to know just what we need to make it through each day! Now that I have my sweet loves in my life I often wonder how I made it so long without them. . .

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    1. Yes, I can think of no greater sound in all this world! It somehow seems to give fresh strength and purpose straight to our heart.

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  2. Isn’t it simply amazing how when you feel at your lowest low… at that point where you want to hang up your mommy cape and simply cry yourself to sleep in the corner, your children will do, say, show or simply laugh in such a way that you know you can, will and want to face another day.

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  3. Ahhh. This is the good stuff. In the admission of the bad mixed in, the hard too, the emotional and the weary. I think we find that we break when we hold those things in, pretending they don’t exist. Children have a way of doing things to us, bringing things out of us that we never knew possible. Good writing, Sasha ❤

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    1. Thanks Becky!! Yes, they really do bring emotions I did not know existed before they entered my world. It is a thing of pure beauty.

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    1. Yes!! I feel my life has never seen beauty such as I have witnessed in the past three years. The way the everyday, mundane can suddenly take on such wonder. . .

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  4. I know that as a mother, it’s my job to nurture & comfort & hug all the fears & worries away. But it’s amazing–how in just 7 months of life, just how often my son has comforted me. How often he has reminded me that in this moment-in the one shared with him, everything is okay. Best job ever! Cheers to more moments shared with the heaven on Earth of being with our children 🙂

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    1. Kerri, isn’t it simply amazing how much they minister to our own hearts when we always thought it was going to be the other way around? In their tiny little frames they unknowingly carry such healing and joy with them. I too will cheer to many more moments!!

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  5. Very beautiful, Sasha. Me, I do not know how you do it – but then, maybe you don’t know either! My two children are 4 years apart, and i could not have had them any closer 🙂

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    1. Haha, Sara, I often do not know how either. Then, I look at those moms with five, six, seven. . . I realize I am still an amateur. 😉

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  6. All I can say is totally!! I totally get how you feel and when your perspective changes from what is going on in life to the opportunity to love these gems.. It just changes things! Thanks for sharing!

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    1. I couldn’t agree with you more: it’s all about perspective! We are the luckiest in all the world, if only we stop to realize it. 🙂

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  7. Thanks for being so honest Sasha about the difficult as well as the wonderful! My guys have been teething and the crabiness has been tough, but mixed with wonderful! Nice to know I’m not alone!

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    1. Natasha, you are definitely not alone. . . although I never had two tethers at the same time: ouch!! I will be thinking of you and pray those things find themselves coming through quickly! 🙂

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  8. This explains motherhood SO well. It is absolutely amazing how their smiles, giggles, and bright eyes seem to rejuvenate and make life all better. My P surprises me with his innate ability to make me smile, even when I am almost determined to be frustrated. Thank you for this sweet, real, and simple post. 🙂 I love this window into your life and thoughts!

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    1. Thanks Marla!! They seem to know just how to turn the difficult and sometimes just plain ordinary moments into pure beauty! Keep soaking up each and every one of those precious smiles. 🙂

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  9. Reblogged this on A Pendulum World and commented:
    I recently started following this sweet mom’s blog, and I’m so glad I did. She is so down to earth. Her post today really touched me. I feel like so often I have reached my limit. I’m simply done. I’m about to break from exhaustion, emotions, everything… and then P shines me one of his smiles. He giggles. He tries to make me laugh. And then, even though I feel I am determined to be unhappy, he pulls a smile out of me. I just can’t resist.

    How do the little ones in your life bring you happiness and sunshine?

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    1. I LOVE to hear this!!! I always hope those who read my blog will feel the strength and peace of motherhood. To know you do means the world to me!!

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  10. Sasha,
    I so feel your soul in this one. On one of my hardest, most painful days last year, I rocked my daughter in the glider (she was 3 months old then) I just rocked her and cried, and cried as the sun slowly went down outside. It is in those moments, it seems when I am not holding her, she is holding me. Truly our children are an incredible gift from God–that minister to us in ways I never ever thought possible.

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    1. Rebekah, thank you so much for sharing this beautiful story. It touched me to the core. Through their simple touch, smile, embrace, they bring depths of comfort and hope to the soul. I am forever thankful to God for allowing me to experience this incredible gift of motherhood. 🙂

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  11. Beautiful Sasha … I had a breakdown ( as you can probably tell from my posts…lol) and was just crying… And then you feel their little bodies on you , their warmth , and someone the stress gets melted away but you have to actually stop and feel them, right . Like you told me to take a break!

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    1. Jill, isn’t it incredible how their little selves can bring such refreshment to our souls? I am glad you are taking a break to see the beauty in their eyes. I too often need to remind myself to just slow down. 🙂

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