I was with an unnamed relative at the park when we struck up a conversation with one of the moms there. She was definitely pregnant and told us she had five weeks to go.
This is how the following conversation proceeded:
My unnamed relative: “Oh, wow, five more weeks! I thought you were due any day now! “
Pregnant lady: “Ummm, no, five more weeks.”
My unnamed relative: “Are you having one or two?”
Pregnant lady: “One.”
My unnamed relative: “Oh. . . . ”
I personally wished with everything in me to go bury myself in a hole!
“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” ~Thomas Jefferson
I respect the many things you did for my country Mr. Jefferson and the great sacrifices you paid, but I must disagree with you on this one.
Sometimes honesty is not the key to wisdom.
Sometimes, the key is something called a little white lie.
I had a friend who was pregnant who had the most appalling things said to her. When she was a few days overdue, a neighbour knocked on her door and proceeded to tell her she should be induced and why. My friend had only met this neighbour once before.
People are endlessly fascinating in what they see as acceptable behaviour.
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Oh wow, some people certainly have some strong opinions and are not afraid to state them!
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haha oops! I would say being prudent is the key of wisdom! 😉
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Haha, yes, that too!! 🙂
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Preach! I had these exact words said to me week after week with my second child by the teacher of my daughter’s music class. It really stung.
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Oh, you poor thing!! It’s not like we don’t already feel like a whale as it, without someone having to rub it in!
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Guilty of saying, “wow 5 more weeks!?”
lol
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Oh no!! Ha, you would get along good with my unnamed relative! 😉
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LOL the speak for you think mistake!
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I work with all men and I was really surprised at how many of them dared to ask me if I was pregnant – well before it was totally obvious. When I was six months pregnant, someone asked me if I was “due any day now”. We have a saying where I come from – never ask a woman if she’s pregnant unless the head is crowning 😉
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That is a really, really good saying Kirsten, one more people should take note of!! My husband once told our pregnant friend “Wow, you are getting really big!” Men seem to not understand the issue here!
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Wow…. Sadly I had similar experiences (yes that plural is purposeful) when I was pregnant with my little guy. It just amazes me what people think they can say to pregnant women.
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How awful Sarah!! So true, when it comes to common etiquette it seems people somehow find the pregnant woman exempt! 🙂
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Yes, best to just say congrats. 🙂
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I couldn’t agree with you more!!! 🙂
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How about things not to say to someone who is NOT pregnant? My son once said to me, “When are you having the baby?” and I wasn’t even pregnant! He was only 5 at the time, so it was cute.
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Haha, good thing he was five!! My mom actually asked a lady this when she was much older than five, more like 35. After this she vowed to NEVER ask again! 🙂
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The expression on your daughter’s face is perfect for this post – hilarious!
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Ha, thanks! Yes, I love when I am able to capture these type of expressions from them!
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Oh god I would have definitely distanced myself from the relative *facepalm* when I was 5 months along, an aunt of mine kept insisting to me that she had never seen anyone so BIG at 5 months before. It took all my self control to not bludgeon her with her own oversized Gucci handbag and call it a day.
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I am so sorry Sally, what an awful thing!! Family can be the worst. They somehow feel the most entitled to give their opinions. I am glad you were able to maintain your self control though; I do not know if I would have been able to say the same! 🙂
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I’ve learned never to discuss due dates with closed-ended/yes-no questions. It’s best to ask for the date and leave it at that.
And you’re quite right – sometimes shutting up or being as vague as possible is better. 🙂
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Yours is definitely a great way to go! Yes, we do not always have to say what we are thinking! When it comes to pregnant women, some people do not feel this rule applies! 🙂
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Oh man! Poor mama to be! If it’s any consolation, an un-named relative recently told me that despite being within 10 pounds of my pre-pregnancy weight, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but your belly looks bigger now than the month after you had him.” Ummmm…is there any other way to take that?!
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Oh no, I think yours may be even worse!! Its not like we can blame it on a big baby afterwords!! This past Christmas my dad asked me if I was expecting again! I am a small person, but he thought he saw a little belly! Oh boy, the relatives!! 😉
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PS. Love your beautiful daughter’s expression for this post!
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Thanks, it cracks me up! 🙂
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LOL! Oh dear! Well, at least she was actually pregnant. Charlie was less than a month old, when I took him to the grocery store (during a weekday afternoon when it wasn’t busy 😉 ). While waiting in line, a older gentleman commented on how sweet Charlie was and asked how old. After telling him that Charlie was a FEW WEEKS old, he pointed at my belly and asked, “Are you expecting another one?”
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Oh, the nerve! I so wish you would have responded with that last statement!! 🙂
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Oh wow, love this post! I had a very similar situation happen to me when I was 7 months pregnant with my second child. My brother’s girlfriend went on and on about how huge I was and if I was sure I was going to make it 2 more months. The real shocking part was she is a mother of 2 herself. She should know better!!!
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It is amazing the things people feel so bold to say to pregnant women. I cannot believe she was a former one though!!
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Whenever me and my mom would go out with my baby sister after she was born people would always ask me “is that your baby?” And I was like 12-13. Needless to say, my mom would get infuriated.
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Oh no, Hayley, how awful for your mom. . . but pretty funny for you! You must have looked quite old for your age! I am only 26 and can come across as even younger without makeup. I often get mistaken for the Nanny! 🙂
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True, insensitive. Tact and honesty are not mutually exclusive. One must remember Old Tommy wrote the Declaration of Independence; brutally honest. And come to think of it a war did follow. 😉 Sasha, Your posts are so good and insightful keep them coming. i recommend them to my friends
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Haha, Dr Shelton, your wittiness always cracks me up!! Thank you so much for your kind words and even recommendations, it really means so much to me!!
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OH! Could not agree more! Also, I love the new blog design. Looks awesome, and what a pretty “about me” picture!
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Aw thanks, you are so sweet!!
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Ha! Oh dear. Let’s hope the woman didn’t have any body image issues! Some people will say you should never lie but you can always just keep your mouth shut. (Although I do believe there’s such a thing as a white lie.)
I was about to say every time I come around here lately the design has changed. It does look good.
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Yes, a shut mouth would always do. I prefer the white lie though, something like, “Oh, you are looking great! Yes, I definitely can tell you are not due yet!” 🙂
Haha, yes, I am an awful addict wanting to change up the look every other day! I think this one will stick for a while . . . maybe!
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Haha, at only 22 weeks pregnant the frustration builds up in me when people rub my belly and say “Almost there, huh?” There have been a few moments when I offered up TMI and responded with, “Not really. I’m just kinda bloated today!” That ones always followed by looks of shock and awkward subject changes! 🙂
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Hahaha, that is great!!! I hope you continue to do that and if I ever find myself pregnant again I am going to steal it! 🙂
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Hahahaha SO true!!!
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Yes, so very, very true! 🙂
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Haha! I so said things like this! Haha it happens to the best of us! Thanks for sharing!
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Oh no, Courtney!! 🙂 😉
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WORD! Love this post. It’s like when I sat on my husband’s lap the other day and he moaned , as if in pain, and said “I wasn’t prepared for all the extra weight”. I’ll never get over that comment and will most likely remind him of it for the rest of our lives.
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Oh no, and to his own wife too!! Yes, I would definitely never let him live that one down! 😉
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