1. Your daughter runs out of the public restroom to loudly announce she just pooped, and you respond with a cheer of praise.
2. You drop something at the check out lane and tell the cashier “Oopsy!”
3. People staring at you doesn’t phase you in the least. You were over that around the one thousandth public temper tantrum.
4. Smelling your child’s butt is nothing but a normal, everyday occurrence.
5. The thought of meeting with friends any time after 9 oclock sounds like a walking zombie movie.
6. You are up to date on the most popular songs, movies, and television shows. . . for children under five.
7. You fear the day you ever run out of milk or goldfish crackers.
8. Friday night fun is a walk to the park, followed by that soft, welcoming bed, and for a reason even you do not fully understand, you would want it no other way.