Inspirational

Is God Not as Big as I Was Told?

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Was I told a lie? Are you not as big as they said? Are You really a bit more, well, human like, than I was made to believe?

We were at the San Francisco Bay when my little girl fell on the wood pier. We quickly spotted two deep splinters in her hand and tried to remove them, but to no avail. We  had to walk a few blocks to the nearest Walgreens for a needle and tweezers and my heart dropped not a little.

Screams I had never before witnessed from her came rushing out as I had to hold that precious little arm still while my husband removed the offenders. A small crowd soon began to gather to see what these parents were doing to their child.

Finally, it was over. She immediately turned to me in a shaky voice, “It’s all done, Mom! It’s all done, Mom!” I swept her into my arms where she buried her head into my chest and began to quietly whimper.

There, in the middle of San Francisco, with cars and pedestrians all around, I held my sweet baby and cried right along with her.

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 “Jesus wept.” (John 11:33, NIV)

God, isn’t such too big for you, far below your level? Are you not the holy, powerful, Creator of the lighting ready to zap me dead? Weeping, could this really be an extension of you?

“When Jesus saw her weeping. . .

Jesus wept.” (John 11:33, 35, NIV)

When Your own back was torn open You did not complain. Hanging on three wounds in unbearable torment on a cross, not a tear can be found.

You cried for no other reason than one: Mary was crying and Your heart broke for her.

You are  like a mother weeping over her child’s splintered hand.

My pains are seen and felt by You. Not the big guy up in the sky, but a Father quick to sweep me up and hold me tight until the hurt subsides. A God whose heart breaks simply because mine has been broken.

To even write such almost seems blasphemy. I am talking about the Creator after all, and yet, You are a Creator of passion, of love, of empathy and tenderness.

When the wounds ache deep, when the heartache runs strong, I will find You and Your eyes, those bright and beautiful eyes, never too big to not be found with tears.

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26 thoughts on “Is God Not as Big as I Was Told?

  1. I grew up as a Catholic, but don’t find myself to be very religious anymore. However, after reading this post it made me think that perhaps God IS our children. They remind us of everything that truly matters in life, that we are fully and completely devoted to them no matter the circumstance, and they show us how much we can truly love someone else much more than ourselves.

    I’m not sure if any of that makes sense, but it’s just a thought.

    Wonderful post 🙂

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    1. Thanks Shane! Yes, before kids I will admit I was a pretty selfish person. My children have created a person who lives and breathes for their wellbeing and happiness, even if it means sacrificing my own desires for it. Being a parent is truly a miracle, one that points us to something much higher than ourselves.

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  2. God is so much bigger than our minds can fathom. Yet, He comes to us tenderly, nurses our wounds, and embraces us. That’s what’s amazing! I love how God uses our children to teach us more about who He is.

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    1. Yes, they teach me more about Him each and every day! I was brought up in a place that taught me God was holy and powerful, but never heard much about His indescribable love and compassion. My children have opened my eyes to see Him in an entire different light.

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    1. Yes, I would much rather experience any hurt myself than have to watch them go through it! The only silver lining to the whole experience is she loves to show off her two scars to everyone willing to look. 🙂

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  3. I know what you mean. You almost feel the pain they’re feeling as if it’s your own. It is amazing how children change our perspective on everything. Hope it was a good trip to San Francisco besides the splinters! I love it there…

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    1. Yes, it is almost unbearable having to watch them in pain. Having children brings an entire different outlook on life. Beside the splinters it was the best trip! I am so envious of anyone who actually lives there. 🙂

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  4. This made me teary, my daughter was balling her eyes out yesterday with a sore tummy, I did cry with her and her father just looked at us, helpless, it really breaks your heart and makes you feel utterly mortal… Beautiful post, your kids will love to read this when they are older

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