I dropped my daughter off for her first day of school. It is two days a week for two and half hours each time. Two days, two hours: one emotionally wrecked momma!
I did not realize how strongly it would impact me. My baby, beaming, waved goodbye, so excited to be a big girl. I waved back, so torn to be mom of a big girl. I was shaking, literally shaking as I walked back to my car.
Trying to regain my composure, I began to wonder, how am I going to keep doing this?? I will be nothing but a huge pile of sobs come Kindergarden! College. . . I do not think I will make it out of bed.
Two and a half hours later I returned. I watched as the love of my life came bouncing out to my car, gripping her teacher’s hand, a huge grin upon her face. There was no woman, or man for that matter, as proud as I was in that moment. My heart literally pounding from within.
They take their first step, babble their first word, march off to join their friends at nursery school. We laugh, we cry, our hearts burst with sorrow, our hearts burst with pride.
As I drove back home, listening to her excited chatter, bursting with excitement myself, it hit me. This motherhood thing: it is a roller coaster of emotions, with the joys somehow balancing out the aches. We are sad to see them grow and yet filled with pride in their accomplishments. We mourn the end and rejoice in the new. We will cry, sob, perhaps die a little on the day they finally leave home. Then, we will no longer have simply a daughter, a son, but a friend.
Fingers crossed, a best friend.
We release them, slowly, more and more each day. We let go with pride in our eyes–eyes filled with burning tears.
What about you, what stage of parenthood are you currently in? Have you had to let your child go in any areas recently? I would love to hear about it!!