Real and Raw

And I Saw Handsome


To my son,

I watch as you strut around the house in those little basketball underwear, proudly showing off that rounded belly and chubby legs. I know that someday soon that belly will grow tight with abs, those legs long and lean. You will style your hair, wear the designer clothes. You will look good, I have no doubt. You have your momma’s genes. 😉

But someday later still you will get married. And your wife, well, she will not define your attraction according to the size of your chest or how chiseled the jaw. She will see handsome in a much different way…

Your sister came out of the womb crying. She continued to wail for the first two months of her life. So exhausted, it would sometimes be hours until she would fall back asleep at night. And as I tried so desperately to soothe her, when I felt I had reached my end, he would come in. He, who had to go to work the next morning. He would scoop her out of my arms, allowing me an extra hour or two of sleep.

And I saw handsome.

A year later she came down with a terrible bug during the night. We changed the sheets so many times that by the end we were laying on towels. He would wash the vomit while I bathed her. And then hold her close until she found sleep once more. With each bout of sickness he showed nothing but compassion for his baby girl.

And I saw handsome.

Two kids under the age of two and some days my life seemed to pass by in some sort of insomniac blur. He would notice my eyes when he came home from work. He would take you and your sister out for a while. To give me a break, time to actually take a slow shower. I know he was exhausted himself.

And I saw handsome.

The four of us spent last Friday night at Costco together. Breaking open snacks and drinks, taking our time perusing all those glorious deals, and buying bags of food much too large for our little crew. It was Friday. He could have been out doing so many other things. But he happily chose to be here, with us, his family.

And I saw handsome.

Handsome gets down on the ground with wrestles and tickles. Handsome dances like a crazy man when the “wheels on the bus” start going round and round. Handsome stays up with the sick child, and calls home first thing in the morning to make sure he is doing okay.

Handsome still calls me beautiful, and whistles low when I walk by. Handsome loves me more now than the day we married. Handsome wants to grow old and gray with me, to live this life forever by my side.

You can keep your chest strong, sure. I have no doubt your wife will appreciate this much. But remember, my sweet boy, that this is not the thing she will think of when lying in bed with you.

She will remember crying and vomit and crazy Costco adventures. She will remember true, sexy love.

Stay handsome for her. Stay handsome for your bride.




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11 thoughts on “And I Saw Handsome

  1. Sasha, I love everything you write, but this may be one of my favorites. I shared it to my Facebook page and it has so far been viewed by almost 8,000 and got 83 likes…. This is powerful stuff and demonstrates a true man. I’m so glad you and your children have that! This was beautiful.


  2. GIRL! This is beautiful!! I’m going to share this on my FB page right now but I would love to link to it in my post tomorrow. Seriously, brought me to tears 🙂 Thank you!


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