featuredpost · Sons

I Was His First Date

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His sister makes us the ever threesome. We do most everything together. This particular afternoon, however, he didn’t want to nap. And so while big sister was at school, the two of us headed over to Starbucks for some coffee and cake pops. I could see his excitement as soon as we walked into the door. He realized this afternoon was reserved for just the two of us. He couldn’t stop his smiles at me. I couldn’t stop smiling back.

I sat sipping my coffee, having “conversation” with my little man. I thought my heart might spill right over. And suddenly, I realized in that moment: I was his first date.

Countless other girls will spend their time sitting across the table from this guy. They will steal away his attention from me. I will no longer be his one and only…

To the one who will truly take my place someday, who will date him till she’s old and gray, this is what I would like to say to her:

I loved him first. I loved him in ways that can never be explained; depths the human language is incapable of articulating. I loved him more than life, and to hold his hand was like holding love itself.

This hand though, it was made for you. This hand which now wraps itself around my single finger. It turns me into pure putty, you know? But it was meant to hold yours. 

He will love you more than anything, and this is the way things should be. However, no one will ever love him like I do. No one will ever brush the depths of this love. I look at him and my heart hurts, knowing someday he will no longer be mine. Knowing, even though it is good and right and beautiful, that you will take my place.

For now though, I am still his everything. This is our moment of coffee and cake pops. And so dear girl, I will take care of him for you. I will try my best to raise him to be the greatest husband one could ever want. 

Someday you will look upon him and see a strong and loving man. Me? I will forever see that chubby little hand reaching my way, those big eyes which called me their world. 

I was his first date. And this. . . well, this means everything to me. 

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25 thoughts on “I Was His First Date

  1. When I looked at my precious sons and daughters, who now are teaching and training my grandchildren, I had a totally different outlook on the dating game. I wanted them not to know the trauma I endured searching for just the right mate (http://pilgrimstranger.com/category/dating/). To open the page so reading is easier, click on the title.

    This is one of 13 lessons from a book I wrote: NOT WITHOUT WARNING.

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  2. Lovely. As three of my four are boys, my heart certainly knows this feeling. Unfortunately, my little stairsteps collided so quickly, I didn’t often get those date times with my older two, but my youngest is reaping the benefits of sibs in school.:)

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  3. Ok. The above was from me, mrsmariposa2014, btw. WordPress is being wonky about me signing in. Technology is grand but not always my friend. Lol

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    1. I am very glad you were able to figure it out! Technology and myself never get along well either! I know what you mean about the difficulty with finding the one on one time. I am trying to make it intentional–even if just a short walk alone with one of them. How they soak it up! 🙂

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  4. Sasha, my oldest in 21, dating the girl of his dreams and for all intents and purposes, engaged (he knows better than to come home with that news before his degree is in his hand!). Even through his teen years, he came to me with everything. Now he goes to his beautiful girl who I love like a daughter. Even though I love her and would have picked her for him given the choice, I am living that heartache of letting go. As usual, your post brought me to tears. Cherish those chubby little hands. They grow up quicker than you even imagine.

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    1. Aww, you are right in the very middle of this post! I can only imagine how wonderful/difficult it is for you! Thanks so much for your encouragement! I am holding his chubby hand every chance I get. 🙂

      And an “almost” congrats to your son!! 😉

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  5. Trying to hold back the tears…if only because it’s a rare day when I have mascara on my eyelashes 😉 This is beautiful, true, and I think every mama of a little boy knows the emotions you articulate so well. Going to give my little guy extra kisses when he wakes up from his nap 🙂

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  6. What a beautiful post. I had a very similar experience yesterday when my oldest was at school and my youngest and I went on a special date–just the two of us. We went to a museum, stopped at the bakery, and had lunch at Chipotle. Even though he didn’t pay, he was the PERFECT date. Love having special 1:1 time with my guys!

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    1. Veronica, I am so glad you stumbled over here!! I too wonder why you did not receive any email though! I just switched over to a new, self hosted blog, so I’m hoping that did not mess things up. You could check your spam and see if it went there by mistake. . . Let me know if you get the next email though!!

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    2. Hi Veronica! So I just found out if you were previously following me through wordpress.com, you will no longer receive email updates since I am no longer a part of them. 😦 However, if you wanted to sign up here at the sidebar with your email, then you will once again receive new posts in your inbox! 🙂

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  7. I love this!!! It’s so true we are their first date and their first love. And even tough like you said they will eventually not be just ours there is no other person in the world that could love them the way we do. We didn’t just see them first but we felt their kicks and little movement. You have such a beautiful way with words. I always think that when I read your posts.

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  8. Of course you did it again, tears as though you shared my very heart…thoughts I had so many times with my two boys. Remembering the times that they said they would “never have a girlfriend and live with you forever Mom”…..seeing them each marry the girl of their dreams and become men that I knew they would always be…but treasuring those special moments that allowed me to realize over and over that my husband and I were raising men…..I will forever see those “chubby little hands.” Great post friend.

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    1. “Never have a girlfriend and live with you forever Mom.” I cannot even begin to imagine what this must do to the heart!! I am so glad they have found great woman. I love to hear this side of it though, from a momma on the other side of things. Thank you for sharing this. Love!

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