Adoption · Amazing People

Motherhood Comes in all Different Sizes

This is a story of motherhood. Not an easy one coming. Struggle, rejection, tears and fighting. Of all the women I know, my Aunt Vicki deserved to be mother more than them all. The kindest, most loving woman one will ever meet.

She began to doubt she would ever have a child. She almost gave up entirely.

Somehow, she found the strength to keep fighting. Today, she is mom to two of the most precious souls you will ever meet. This is her story. . .

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Jinnae was first discovered at a bus stop in China, a little piece of paper pinned to her with her birthdate. Her birth mother probably unable to support her, placed her in the most public place she could think of to be found.

My Aunt’s heart is so big, and yet like every heart, it is fragile. Jinnae did not come easy. Vicki fought long–so very long–and hard. She was originally told it would take 8 months. . .

“I started to wonder if our adoption would ever happen. It was a year and a half now. I started talking less about it to others.” 

Then two years: “I would sit in the baby room and pray and cry. I began thinking maybe I wouldn’t have a child.”

Finally, after three long years, imagining it may never really happen, she received the most wonderful call of her life. She was on a plane to China soon after, where she found herself face to face with her baby girl (eight months old).

The one she had waited for, prayed, for, cried for, was now here with her. The love so intense; the bond so fierce. Every day of waiting worth it–forever worth it.

jinnae

Kyra was born in the Marshall Islands. Vicki figured the second time around would be fine. She would be mentally prepared for the challenges ahead.

They were going to adopt two baby girls from Ghana. This time they were told things would happen much faster.

“Ghana closed its doors to adoption leaving us emotionally and financially drained. I thought I would be stronger this time, I wasn’t. I would cry on the way to work and on the way home. I was a teacher and touched children’s lives all day. I loved my career. I didn’t understand why when I was doing everything right – believing and trusting in God, married, positive, kind, helpful, serving others that it was so difficult for me to have a child. It seemed unfair. While I waited and longed for a second child, others seemed to have smooth adoption processes and pregnancies. Life began to feel so unfair, which it is sometimes.”

They decided to try again. This time the Congo. After four months, and more payments, this country closed its doors to adoption as well.

“I decided at that point I wasn’t sure if I could go through another process. The pain was overwhelming. Why was it so difficult for me to adopt a child?”

Two months later she was told of a new adoption program in the Marshall Islands, claiming the entire process would take six months.

“I wasn’t so sure. I was scared in the pit of my stomach. What if we started another process and something didn’t work out again, could I tell all my family and friends again that something went wrong?. . . Could I handle feeling like a failure again?”

She took the risk. She opened her already broken heart one last time.

This past June, just five months after starting the last process, Vicki found herself in the Marshall Islands. Kyra was taught Vicki’s “name” ahead of time. Upon seeing her, she adressed her as momma.

Yes, she was her momma. And Kyra, you have the most beautiful momma in all the world. She waited for you, fought for you. And when all of life told her she just wasn’t right for this motherhood thing, she fought for you still.

~~~~~~~~~~

To all those trying to be “Mom,” whether through childbirth or adoption: keep fighting. Vicki will tell you–she will be the very first to tell you–it is worth the fight. Worth the wait.

“I truly understand how they feel. I have learned through the past seven years to always trust God, to be patient, and to continue to rise above even when life is difficult.”

10515311_967832623232989_8195029822925890835_oPhoto credit: Jaqueline Glueck Photography

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17 thoughts on “Motherhood Comes in all Different Sizes

  1. Such a beautiful story. Those two little girls are so incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful mom who fought so hard and flew across the world for them. One of my friends is currently a year and a half into the adoption process, and has encountered just about every obstacle imaginable, but is truly resilient. Can’t wait to share her joyful news soon–she deserves it ever so much!

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  2. Your aunt is inspiring Sasha! My (adoptive) mom lost her first two children shortly after birth and she could never again conceive. She wanted to be a mother so bad, so she decided to adopt. She fostered so many children (here in the US) with so many hopes that she could adopt them. Something always went wrong. The children she fostered were often reunited with their parents–even after being told that they could be adopted. The very first child my mom adopted was a girl named Brianna–whom I’ve never met. My mom and dad adopted her as a teen, and as soon as she turned 18, she took off and returned to her family. Then, they decided to adopt me; and I’m so very happy it all went well. My biological parents died when I was 6 and I was being taken care of by my grandmother. My wonderful grandmother learned that my (adoptive) parents wanted children, so she introduced us and that’s how we all became a family. My grandmother and them had such a strong relationship! I am so thankful that after losing my biological parents–at such a young age–I was able to gain the love of two wonderful parents.

    –Soph from http://www.sophiacoleblog.com

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful little piece of your story Soph! I cannot tell you how much it touched me and what a great encouragement it is to so many in the process of adoption! I definitely understand the desire to have a baby of your own, but your story shows just how much “older” babies need a mommy too.

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  3. God bless Vicki and all those adoptive parents who open their hearts the way God opens his heart to us! My dear hubby wouldn’t be here with me today without such a heart, nor would my older three older kiddos now be experiencing what having real dad means. All the best for her beautiful family!

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  4. And thank you for your lovely post and highlighting such an important thing! And my apologies. The little editor in me just noticed all my typos on yesterday’s comment. I think I was just that touched by what I was reading. Lol

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