I see the way she glows. The way she gently rubs her belly, that smile which rounds her face. I remember being her. I remember the feelings, the anticipations, joys, fears. Wondering what it was going to be like, to have a child of my own.
I now have two kids. And when I see her, this is what I want to say:
It is going to be hard–brutally hard. There will be nights so awful you will not even be allowed to cry yourself to sleep. You will instead cry standing up, walking the halls with an inconsolale little one.
There will be days when you will feel like a real live cow. You will spend your hours doing nothing but feeding, changing, and bathing a fussy baby. You will look in the mirror at your spit up barring self and barely recognize the scary thing staring back at you. Then you will quickly look away, for it will be time to feed again.
You will look at your childless friends and sigh, wondering what it would feel like to have that much freedom again. To pamper yourself, to shower when you like. To actually have the last few hours of the day to do whatever you want. You will imagine what Saturday feels like for them, what sleeping in must do to one’s soul. You will try to remember those days of old, but the screaming in the background will make it hard to remember.
You will be torn between this perpetual state of boredom and exhaustion. You will stare at the walls, desperate to get out, but just as you’re about to leave you will find a nice stain growing upon the baby’s backside. And now it is bath time once more.
For some reason you will decide all of this is the greatest thing in the world. That nothing in life could match the beauty of what you hold in your arms. You will find yourself weeping uncontrollably in love. You will finally stop crying to simply stare–for hours–at the miracle in front of you.
You will hear something so little as its first laugh and decide your life is now complete. You will talk baby gibberish for insane amounts of time, and find each minute of it pure excitement, as long as the baby is gibbering back.
You will no longer care too much for your own needs, or desires–besides a shower that is. This little bundle will take precedence before everything else. And you will lie there in complete wonder that you were ever able to live without this one you now live for. Your world, your life, your everything, lying here upon your chest, breathing in sweet peace next to you.
So rub your precious belly dear momma, and dream. Make those dreams as big and beautiful as you can. For believe me, no imagining will ever come close to the indescribable beauty which lies ahead.
*Photo credit: jessieleigphotography.com
This is beautiful! And I completely agree! I have an eight month old now and all of this has applied to me at least one time, and the funny part about it is I can’t wait to do it all over again one day!! Thank you for sharing.
LikeLike
My daughter was ten months old when I conceived my son, so believe me, I know what you mean! 😉 The miracle of motherhood–we can only remember the good!
LikeLike
Love this Sash!!! Especially now since I’m pregnant haha. You are such a beautiful writer. Love you!
LikeLike
Besides my mom, only one other person refers to me as Sash! 🙂 I am SOOOOO excited for you, and wish with everything in me I could be there to help you!! Love you friend! XO
LikeLike
aww I love it! I agree with you in everything, motherhood has its ups and downs but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
LikeLike
Yes, the good far outweighs the bad! We are so very lucky to have them! 🙂
LikeLike
Ah, sheer loveliness, Sasha, and so very spot on. May we never cease to wonder at the amazing gifts we’ve been given as mamas!
LikeLike
Yes, I will toast to that! It really is such a wonder!
LikeLike
What a lovely post!!!! What great words for a mommy! I had to share this on Facebook today. I remember so clearly those days. And they truly are special moments to forever cherish. Thank you for words that whisper great memories in my heart today. I appreciate your post.
LikeLike
Aww, Lisa, I am so touched!! Thank you! It really does bring back such beautiful memories–so many I found myself growing a bit of baby fever. 🙂
LikeLike
“You will be torn between this perpetual state of boredom and exhaustion.” Thank you for that statement! I sometimes feel terrible for feeling both tired and bored when I have spent hours playing pick up the toy while watching the fifth episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse! I am also writing about motherhood and the craziness come on over! I would love to connect with some other mommas. http://www.mathmomwithablog.com
LikeLike
Haha, the never ending toys!! 🙂
LikeLike
Totally perfect. The love of a mother is almost incomprehensible to me, even though I experience each day. The depth and sacrifice and overwhelming joy all in one is just too much to wrap my head around. But it is lovely! Beautifully written, Sasha! 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you so much Marla!! Sorry for the super late response!!
LikeLike
Thanks, this is a great post. I’m 28 weeks pregnant and I am realistic about life with a baby but I am excited, and scared!
LikeLike
Thank you foor being you
LikeLike