Category #2 · Encouragement · featuredpost · Inspirational

You’re Doing a Good Job Mom

Sasha

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We moved into our new place without putting the locks back on the toilet seats. “Pierce is older now. We will not need them.” I thought.

Very. Bad. Thinking.

I found my son standing over the toilet, his mouth sucking on a twisty straw which he had been dipping in the toilet water.

What was I supposed to do with this?? I was clueless. I washed his hands, and tried splashing a little water in his mouth. Because we all know water splashing takes the germs away!

And so seems to go my mom life. I try, but I fail, over and over again. . .

I woke up with these huge ambitions of all we were going to accomplish this day. It is now nap time and so far the only productive thing we have managed is getting dressed. Well, dressed for a little while. Both kids seemed to have somehow become topless since then. The mess is piling higher, the disaster larger–at least the locks are once again on the toilets.

We have accomplished seemingly nothing. I hang my head in failure once again. Where did I go wrong? At what point did I end up that woman I swore I would never be? That mom with the half naked heathens. That woman who seems to never be able to fully screw her head on when it comes to motherhood.

My head hangs lower and I begin to cry. I need to try harder, to be more disciplined, more structured. I somehow need to find more energy. This coffee isn’t cutting it anymore. I am tired. I am spent. I am a failure and the day is only half through. The tears begin to flow faster.

Then, I stop to look around.

I see the pieces of the play doctor kit scattered across the floor. The kit we have used all morning. My arms can almost feel the burn of the fifty million shots they have received.

I see the favorite books. The ones now covered with crayon markings and old stickers. The ones I can quote verbatim from reading so many times. The ones I later heard big sister “reading” to her brother.

I look down at my leggings and discover a small hole in the knee from so many games of chase, me always the lion.

The kitchen, filled with dirty dishes and spilled plates, it still lingers with the sounds of silly laughter and games.

The dirty laundry, piled like Everest, carries the stains and messes of adventure and discovery, of happiness–so much happiness.

It is nap time and I am much too exhausted to tackle any of this disaster at the moment. Instead I stare. I smile. Now my head begins to lift again, for I see how beautiful of a mess it is. How much we have accomplished this day.

We have learned. We have loved. We have lived. We have not drunk any more toilet water.

I’m right there with you mom! We try; we fail. But maybe sometimes our failures are not as big as we think. Maybe we are actually doing a pretty good job at this whole mom thing. Maybe, in the middle of all the chaos, there is something beautiful being formed in those little rascals.

Keep trying mom. I bet you are doing a much better job than you think.

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72 thoughts on “You’re Doing a Good Job Mom”

  1. Sasha… This describes my weekend to a tee. (Minus the toilet water part..my kids thing is hiding food/candy and then eating it days later *gag*)
    Anyways, this post really touched me because I am constantly in this tug of war between being a full throttle-throw-myself-on-the-floor-and-play type of mom. To being a cleaning, perfectionist mom. And the perfectionist is never satisfied😔.. Something else could always get done, or organized, or cleaned, or washed. It’s a never ending cycle. This weekend, we played.. We watched Christmas movies, read books, met Santa, and took naps. I still have a pile of clean clothes to fold. Diy Christmas gifts that may not get done until the 23rd ish. And a closet that’s been begging for a good cleaning for like 3 months. But the memories our kiddos have…. The confidence and love they feel right now… It’s worth way more than the perfectionist’s dream. You are an awesome mom! Keep it up❤️

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    1. Your weekend sounds perfect!! I know exactly what you mean, but I am learning it is those moments (not the clean laundry ones) which are making an impact on their very souls. I hope you wait until the 24th to finish those projects and instead go see Santa at least ten more times. 😉

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      1. I agree. Before we know it there will be a couple of teenagers living in our house. With drivers licenses and facial hair…and we will find ourselves listening to boy drama and buying bras. I am in no rush to get through these precious years where all they want is our attention. By the way, I asked Julz “wow you got to meet Santa!! Isnt that soooo cool”… He kept a serious face and said “No. Not cool. That is awesome!!!!.”

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  2. You have LIVED this day and you have LIVED it with your children. I think you’ve accomplished all you need to. (P.S. I so love his little face!)

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  3. We are all doing the best job that we can as moms. I call those crazy moments, “liquid sunshine” moments. You cry but yet there is always that happy sunshine which breaks through in the end. You are doing great!

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  5. I would say, good job, Mother! Sometimes the house has to wait for time with the children! You will never regret the time you give your little ones! How I remember the times my house didn’t look very good as I read to my girls or did something special with them. I have never regretted those times!
    And it seems that children survive the toilet water!

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  7. Oh, I love this so much! My mom tells about a horrible mom moment where she walked into the bathroom to find me having a tea party with the toilet water. On top of that, I was dipping a rag into the tea kettle and dabbing my sisters freshly scraped knee. I’ve definitely had many days like the one you described. Thanks for the sweet reminder we aren’t failing, Sasha!

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    1. Oh Chelsi, what an awful moment for your poor mom!! I see you two survived though, and have turned out great regardless. This gives me great hope! 😉

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  8. You are WAY too hard on yourself!!! You are an incredible mother, and your babies are so lucky to have you. Sigh, I just went through the toilet water issue myself yesterday. I guess we’ll all learn about toilet water at the same time! 😉 Great post, and don’t forget to give yourself a break 😉 – Rachel

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    1. Autumn, isn’t it great when we allow ourselves to enjoy the moments, without having our minds anywhere but fully present? I am glad your weekend was so great! I hope you keep them going for a long time!

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  13. Hahaha! I’m so glad we don’t have plastic straws, or else this would also be my fate! Just the other day I found Parker scrubbing the toilet seat with his very own tooth brush. Awesome. At least he wants to clean. 🙂 We really are doing well as moms. The love and bond we have with our children go to show that we are doing well, and putting our time where it should be, instead of constantly worrying about how to conquer the Mt. Everest of laundry. Beautiful post, Sasha!

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  14. Great post! You never fail if you give your time and your love to your kids! There will be plenty of time to clean up and do everything else once they are older and in school or when they don’t want to chase you as a lion around anymore. Be the lion and enjoy this as long as you can! You did not fail!

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      1. Definitely! My time with holes in my pants are kind of over. Still lots of playing and although it stresses me out, because there is stuff sitting there and waiting to be done, it’s worth focusing on the playtime!

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  15. Messes are sometimes the sign of a house where kids get to do crafts, cook, and play in the mud. You ARE doing a good job mom. I do cringe a little when I see my toddlers hands in the toilet.

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  18. As long as everyone is fed and happy at the end of the day, you’ve done your job. =] All that matters, is that when your kids are older and they look back on these times, they’ll remember how happy their lives were. You’re giving them so many great memories and teaching them so much… You really are doing a good job.

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  19. This was beautifully expressed! I can sincerely say I have felt all of what you wrote so many times. Failure. I can’t tell you how nice it is to know I am not alone out there as I also try to navigate motherhood. It can feel so scary and lonely at times.

    Thank you for liking my post and page, I am so glad you did because it allowed me to connect to yours!

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  20. Love your post, you make me feel so normal 🙂 I could totally relate, toilet included! Bless your fam, and thanks for the little reminders that mess is nothing, in comparison to those lovely smiles!

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  22. Oh you are not alone, we all go through those feelings, and you are doing a great job, second guessing and thinking is just part of being a good parent, I think, because we do care so much, and the rest is a kiddo who is learning and experiencing all the wonders within his environment with someone who can and is willing to do it, where would we be without parents who put in the time and effort to help us find out way.

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  23. Sometimes it’s in the messes and what seem like failures of motherhood, when some of best things happen in us and in our kids. On the days I feel like I’m failing as a mom, and they sure do exist, I’m reminded of the grace our Heavenly Father extends to us–He watches us fall, get back up, and try again. He doesn’t give up on us, but He gives us the time we need to learn. And when we mess up, our kids learn that we are human–real people, who are still learning. We never stop learning. So often that’s what motherhood daily reminds me of…if I was perfect, I wouldn’t have anything to learn. But instead I have a God who wants to teach me and grow a relationship with me through the time I spend learning from the best teacher ever. Thanks for these honest words of encouragement, Sasha.

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  26. Love this post Sasha! Thanks for being so honest! I feel like I have days when I feel like super mom, knowing that the mess is meaningful and beautiful and then days when I’m just worn out and hanging my head too. We are doing better than we think! Love your writing so much! Thank you.

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    1. Natasha, it seems something we need to CONSTANTLY remind ourselves: “You’re doing a good job. You’re doing a good job. . . ” You really are though! 🙂 Thanks so much for your encouragement!

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      1. So so honest. I love this post for more than one reason. I keep being reminded “they’ll only be little for a little”. Keep up the good work, mom! They learn so much from love- the cleanliness comes later 🙂

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  29. Found you through barren to beautiful. As one in the thick of battle with my insecurity, so glad to see there are more of us struggling than I thought. Thank the Lord for grace and the way he makes beauty from messes.:)

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    1. I don’t know why I am JUST seeing this! I LOVE all of Rebekah’s writings! So happy you found me there! 🙂 You are definitely not alone either. Beauty from messes is for sure. 😉

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