Daughters · My Heart's Cry

Her Greatest Striptease

Sasha

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To my sweet girl,

I am not old, not so out of touch with our culture. I love the beat of the modern music, the latest fashions, and the newest technology. I am Generation Y.

I am also your mom, and my heart is terrified.

You see, I have this crazy hope you will actually keep your clothes on. Yes, I know this is not the direction things are going. The bared body is to be seen as a work of art, beauty, that to behold and marvel, right?

As you grow I will be considered “old” to you. Perhaps a little out of touch with reality. Will you grasp the precious treasure your body truly is? The power you hold in it, and the ways in which you can someday please the one whose eyes will roam only for you?

Sure you could pose. You are already beautiful; I can only imagine in the coming years what a figure you will possess. You could strip down and show yourself to the world. You could hashtag and twitter and send your body viral.

You could do this.

Or, you could keep the secret just that–a mysterious, longed for secret.

What happened to making them imagine? Where went the pleasure of teasing? There is nothing left to marvel. It is all there, for the eyes of any who wish a peek. But what if you are different? What if you are strange, unusual, a creature to wonder about? Instead of uncensored selfies, allowing the boys to only dream.

What would he think, the one who finally steals your heart away? Would he laugh at your June Clever, backwoods mindset? Or would he laugh in awe of the beauty known by no other?

I cannot begin to tell you the wonder when you reveal all to the one you truly love. I speak from experience. Your dad’s eyes alone undress me. There is something so raw, so intangible about the secret kept between us. This body, my body, his only. Passion shared with no other.

But am I simply out of touch with the way things should be; the artistic nature of it all? Perhaps I am fighting for a suppressive bubble where women actually cover their breasts and men fight to win their affection.

Perhaps.

How I hope you also will be labeled “out of touch.” Then, you can laugh about it with he who is head over heels in love with his old fashioned beauty. This beauty kept hidden away for his eyes alone.

Laugh dear girl. Laugh as you striptease for the one who finds you worth fighting for.

Love,

Mom

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43 thoughts on “Her Greatest Striptease”

  1. This is something I know will affect all of us mothers at some point. How different from our parents generation now that social media is prevalent in our society. Well said. 🙂

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      1. I am in many ways. For the longest time I refused to put up pics of Z on the internet or let anyone else. When we left the country I had to concede though, so family could see how she was growing and such.

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  3. Sasha,
    I especially love this post. It reminds me of the wedding vows my husband and I exchanged, “My eyes only for you, my body only for you.” This secret gift is meant to be sacred and beautiful…not perverted and warped as it often is in our culture. I realize this is a battle for all of us, both men and women to keep it. Purity is a battle for both sexes–but worth the fight. I cringe that all through ads, it’s not the low v-necks that were popular when I was in highschool, but v-necks plunging all the way to the belly button. (Ah! Please tell me this is not going to become popular!) And that is “modest” compared to most. This battle for purity can seem overwhelming, but it really does start on such a small scale. Like mothers and daughters. And fathers and sons. What do we let into our wardrobes? What do we let onto our computer and tv screens? What do we deem beautiful? A very thought provoking post. I am reminded of what C.S. Lewis wrote about in the Screwtape letters. Something about, “Satan cannot create anything beautiful. He can only pervert the real beauty God has created.” And how we have seen this in our culture! Christians don’t believe in purity and keeping sex in marriage because it’s bad or shameful—but because it’s so very GOOD. I love that you are speaking this truth to your daughter, and I hope mine will learn this as well, and any other young women in my life. That they are beautiful, and valuable. They are of precious worth. And they were made for more.
    Thank you for writing Sasha. 🙂

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    1. First of all, what beautiful vows you two made! I love them!! And I love that quote. I have never heard it before but I now think it is one of my favorites. How I pray both our sweet girls will grasp the amazing beauty of this truth. Thanks for sharing this Rebekah.

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  5. This hits way too close to home when it comes to maternal fears of mothers with daughters 😦 I agree 110% with everything you say here, but I hope our daughters can understand it and internalize it as well. It’s a scary world out there and I really don’t know what I’ll do once my baby girl is all grown up

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  6. This definitely hit close to home as I look at my daughter in her blissful babyhood, which will pass all too quickly to the teenage years. I can only hope she will blossom into one of those “old-fashioned” sorts!

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  7. Oh I so share your fear and concern!! Very well put, thank you for writing this. Our culture has become so vulgarized and treats the female body with such disrespect it is terrifying. And we, as a culture, ask our girls to use their bodies (at such a young age, too!) as if they’re public property. It is so hard to bring girls up loving their bodies, and respecting them, and knowing that it’s possible to be beautiful and fashionable without revealing everything in a way that is disrespectful to one’s self. You’re doing a great job!!! – Rachel

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  8. As I mom of a beautiful 23 year old daughter I hear the heart in this message with a little different perspective. I watched my daughter struggle with what was considered modest and what wasn’t, saw her wrestle with the clashing values of each of the social circles she was connected in. Thankfully she stood tall with self-respect and joyfully gave the fullness of herself to her husband. However, the idea of modesty was hotly debated, and it is still difficult to know exactly what that is, even for me at 50. Much of it is cultural, even in the good ole USA there is a wide variety of opinions on what true modesty is . . . then there’s Europe where swimming suits don’t cover all and the middle east where (in some places) only the eyes are uncovered . . . but I love the focus on beauty and self-respect here and I applaud that you offer this to your sweet baby girl–that her body is beautiful and she need never be ashamed, but that it is also so glorious that its unveiling can be really special and protected.

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    1. Thanks Paula! I understand completely what you are saying here. It is a very gray issue and one each individual needs to decide for herself. I am glad you caught the heart of my message though: to not throw herself away for simple attention sake, but to realize the beauty she really is.

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  9. Personally, I don’t think you are old fashioned, nor do I think your ideas or values are either. I think we live in a culture that sadly often makes our bodies, something so very sacred and amazing and beautiful, into an object of lust. I think your daughter is blessed with amazing parents that are willing to stand up for true love and tell her she is worth so much more. It is definitely not a lost cause, and I will stand with you. It’s worth the fight. Sasha, you are amazing!

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  10. Thank you. What a beautiful post. I have a very young granddaughter. I wonder how she will navigate the culture that lies ahead! By being old fashioned, we avoid a lot of heartache!

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  11. Hi, Sasha! You won’t be surprised to know that this is a topic I find to be worth exploring. 🙂
    There are a lot of ways in which we can be distracted from things that are worth celebrating and developing. The pressure for women to reveal in order to succeed or be noticed diverts energy that would be better spent developing other skills that bring about more meaningful contributions in the world. Focusing on appearances can be less intimidating than focusing on the way in which we live our lives and affect those around us. I’m looking forward to the day in which the intellectual and social contributions women bring to the world will “break the internet” faster than a striptease performance.
    I admire how you are a part of the momentum that will take us there!

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    1. Yes, may we break the internet with our minds rather than our breasts! It was your new site that in fact brought this post out of me, but now I do not remember the web address! Can you give it to me? 🙂

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  13. More people need to have values such as these. It’s sad that they’re viewed as “old fashioned”… I love that my husband and I share that special “secret”. I feel like it adds even more passion to the relationship. We always talk about how that one factor makes such a big difference. It makes our entire relationship that much more sacred which in turn motivates us to even more to make it the best that it can be.

    I always love reading your posts! So… I nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award. If you’d like to participate you can read more about it on my blog. =]

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    1. Yes, how much passion and love it brings to our relationship, knowing we alone hold this treasure!

      Thank you so much for the award Megan!! I do not participate in these. However, it does not make me any less honored! 😉

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  14. Oh how I feel the same. My daughter is young, only 1.5 yr old, but I pray that I will be able to teach her how beautiful she is without needing to take off her clothes for a man’s love. It makes me sad how much pressure is put on girls today and how much women seem to give away thinking they need to

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  18. This is great, Sasha! It makes me feel on edge to think of our precious little ones we write about actually growing up. Ahh! This post made me think of my sweet, pure boy. With eyes as big as the moon and a heart of gold, how I hope girls like Boston will stay old fashioned, so that there will be sweet girls for him and for Pierce. Girls that I’ll feel comfortable with him being around. Girls who understand the profound beauty of their body and remember to keep it sacred. Lovely post, Sasha! 🙂

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  20. I wish all mothers would write this & read it to their daughters when the time is right. So that mothers of sons like me would have an easier battle to fight, so that I wouldn’t one day have to tell my son with sadness in my eyes not to look at the nude, graphic photos he might find, so that the the only fight he will face is the one to find & make happy the love of his life, so that he would be one day completely captivated by the beauty & mystery of the body of his future wife instead of bored by the images he has seen in his mind of what she is not.

    It would save so many from the heart break that pornography can cause.

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