Amazing People · Inspiring mommas

Dollars and Pounds

Sasha

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My daughter stood on the scale and loudly proclaimed, “I weigh 20 dollars!” “Wow, 20 dollars!” I exclaimed back. “Yes, I am a big girl!” she beamed, and with this, strutted off to tackle her next adventure in toddlerhood.

At what point does the scale change from proclaiming “dollar signs” to actual ugly pounds? When do we begin rating ourselves by appearance? On what day does my sweet girl no longer see worth when she stands upon that scale, proclaiming disgust in its glaring number?

As a mom, I am always trying to look like the other pretty moms. I want to fit into their click, to be accepted as one of them. Am I thin enough, fashionable enough, is my hair shiny, my teeth white? Is my face symmetrical, my breasts filled with enough padding (I am in the woes of all done breastfeeding days)? No matter how hard I try, I can always find that where I am lacking. . .

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We were staying at a hotel suite a few weeks back. My son was often napping in the bedroom when the cleaning lady would come by to tidy up for us. We talked each day and I soon discovered she was a mom as well. I watched as she got down on her hands and knees to mop my floor, smiling and chatting the entire time. She threw out my trash, picked up my dirty towels, and spoke words of kindness continually. In fact, kindness seemed to flow from her entire being, her happiness simply contagious.

She spoke with a strong accent. She wore a plain, unflattering uniform. Her hair was back, her face bare, and her stomach less than flat. She may not have weighed the correct amount of “dollars,” had the ideal job, or been able afford the pretty little things which would make her fit in with the moms’ clubs.

Not quite so pretty, and yet kindness and contentment seemed to fill her soul. Pure beauty is what overflowed.

She is the one I want to look like.

She is the mom I make it my aim to become.

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Keep the inspiration going!! 

I would LOVE to hear who inspires you as a mom! Leave a comment, or grab the torch and link up here with your own post about it!

May we stay inspired far beyond the scale. . .

63 thoughts on “Dollars and Pounds”

  1. My son is my Mom inspiration… if he thinks I’m doing a good job then I Know I’m doing something right, even without supermodel looks 😉

    I love moms like the lady you have described here… her scale reads “Awesome!”

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  2. Reblogged this on Surviving the Unexpected and commented:
    I had to share this! She put in to words something I’ve been thinking and worrying about recently. This made me realize that he doesn’t care if my tummy is flat or my make-up done. I think I’ll keep focusing on being his mom.

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    1. Oh, I am so glad it inspired you so!! AND I love your thoughts about our children not carrying about our appearance. We are beautiful to the ones who really matter! 🙂

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  3. I remember a time in my life when I couldn’t leave the house without make up on my face. Now, since becoming a mom, I’m lucky if I have the time or energy to put on make up once a month. And you know what? It doesn’t matter. My kids are more important to spend time, energy, and money on. But it does make those times when I do wear make up more of a treat. 😉

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    1. I would not have dared to step outside the door without makeup before children. Now a bit of mascara seems simply decadent. 🙂

      I love where you put your passions and energy Shea!! Your boys are truly so blessed to have you as their mom.

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  4. Oh man can I identify with this post! Being a new mom in a city that still feels new often makes me feel a little lonely. And I’m forever sizing myself up-do I fit well enough with that mom group? I do want to be the pretty mom-but even more–I want to be a beautiful mom–like you, who always writes with insight & humor. Like my best friend’s mom who always spoke with kindness & gentleness-even with 5 kids! Like my own mom- who often sacrificed herself for us and it took me becoming a mother to even realize it. I want to be more positive, more energetic, more fun, funnier, grateful, and present—imperfect as I am, each day 🙂

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    1. Kerri, you put it into words just so perfectly! Thank you for sharing your inspirations and insights–your sweet boy is definitely one lucky little guy! 🙂

      AND thank you so much for your kind words to me. They mean the world.

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  5. I’m sure I am worth a few extra dollars than I used to be. 😉 There’s so much more to worry about than that, though!

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  6. “The Body Project” by Joan Jacobs Brumberg provides an interesting examination of how girls’ diary entries have changed from the Victorian period to modern time, and it examines what was happening in society that might have contributed to those changes. You might enjoy it.
    I think talking about the messages we receive is very important with our kiddos. Sometimes my son and I talk back to my exercise videos when the instructor says something about how a move will help us fit into our skinny jeans or how we will look in a swimsuit. He and I make it a practice to shout “we just want to be strong and healthy!”. Yogaglo instructors do not talk like that, and I like the messages he receives when he practices yoga with me. I think (and hope) it’s good to experience the positive way to talk about one’s body and to talk about ways to respond to the more negative approaches.
    It’s so sad that society offers suggestions on how to morph our bodies into a particular ideal rather than celebrating health and how one lives. The more people who challenge that, the better chance we have at changing that trend, so right on, sister momma!
    (Something else for our television series to address, right? :))

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    1. I LOVE the way you approach the issues with your son, talking through these things with such openness. Raising boys with healthy body images is just as important as it is for our daughters. Not only good for them individually but in the way they will view and treat the women in their lives.

      Thank you for sharing such great insight into this and also for the info about the “Body Project.” I have not heard of it and am going to go check it out now–sounds EXACTLY like something I would love to read about!

      Yes, definitely the wheels are starting to turn for our t.v. series! 🙂

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      1. Let me know what you think of the book (and know that I totally get how the amount of time it takes to finish a book is largely based upon what is going on in one’s life as a mother and partner). 🙂

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        1. Yes, I will!! Life has been crazy busy around here lately but hopefully is about to slow down some soon. I will pick it up then. 🙂

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  7. Wow, I love this! Isn’t it amazing how kids can put things into perspective and help us learn lessons? I love what you said! So true, that some people just radiate so much warmth and kindness, that it inspires others to feel beautiful no matter what. Just like you, I want to be someone who makes others feel comfortable, accepted, and beautiful, instead of make them feel like they need to go home, run another mile, and buy a new wardrobe. I’ll be doing a post soon on this topic! You have gotten my thoughts churning!! 🙂 Thank you!

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    1. Thank you! It is sadly so true how much competition and negativity runs amongst us. “Kill them with kindness” is what I hope to do–just like this lady I met.

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    1. I remember reading this one and truly she was the kind of beauty I too hope to emulate. You were so blessed to have her as an example!

      Yes, kids seem to be much wiser than us in this way: spotting true beauty from a mile away.

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  10. This is the kind of woman I want to be. The one who radiates beauty, not merely the fading outward kind. (I am with you on the mourning over post nursing breasts. It will be a sad done when all is said and done.) But, as the years go on, I pray I am filled to give life in other ways. Thank you!

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    1. Rebekah, it is without a doubt a mournful period I am in at the moment! 😉 However, even this can be seen as something beautiful. I gave life twice through my own body, nourishing my children for over a year a piece. It is all about perspective. Although it can be hard to see in the mirror at times, I am trying to remind myself each day what is really important.

      “To give life in other ways.” I LOVE this!!!

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  11. We often judge people on how they look. However, if you look past the clothes and makeup but it’s the people who are pretty on the inside that make the world a beautiful place.

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    1. Melissa, I could not agree more with you!! The beauty of this world is not that which comes from a pretty face or chiseled figure. It is the old and wrinkled Mother Theresa(s), giving their life for the good of others.

      Thank you for sharing this!!

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  13. This is wonderful Sasha!! I look up greatly to the Proverbs 31 woman. I study her over and over again because that’s who I want to be. The Proverb focuses on the woman’s character. Only once does that Proverb speak of the woman’s physical appearance when referring to her strong arms, and her strong arms really point back to her character representing that she is a hard worker. I believe God interwove beauty into us, and especially as women we have this desire to reveal beauty. So many of us strive to be beautiful and we forget that beauty already lives within us. When we allow the true beauty within us to shine, somehow we end up glowing on the outside too. 🙂

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    1. Hannah, your insight is, like always, so full of wisdom and beauty! How I would love to sit and have coffee with you sometime!

      I never thought of how their is no mention of this woman’s physical appearance besides her strong arms. . . I now love love this passage even more! May we all strive to be a little more like her each day.

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  14. We can be so hard on ourselves as moms. I do the same thing you do watch the other moms when I drop off and pick up my son, wonder what they might think about someone like me, envy some of them a little for managing to look as good as they do. But then I go home and put on something on only to have my little boy loom at me and say “wow mom, you’re so pretty”. That’s when I realize how unimportant everything else is, and I remember than when I was a child, I was convinced there were no two people on the face of the planet who were better looking than my parents. No one even came close! It’s when you realize that nothing else matters and you stop worrying about how you might be perceived that all of that other beautiful stuff comes shining through! You can tell which moms have that figured out, and those are the ones who inspire me the most!

    This is such a beautiful post. I enjoyed it so much. Thank you xx

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    1. Leila, I love your wisdom in this area!! Our children know just what we need to hear it seems! AND the amazing thing about it is to them we really are so very pretty.

      You are right too, although I may envy certain moms, it is the ones who shine with inward beauty who I wish to be with, to become. Thanks for sharing this–LOVE!!

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  15. I often find myself in the same position… And always come doing the complete opposite of what the other moms are doing… I’ve been trying to lose weight to wear cool clothes and try to look a weeee bit more composed! Ha ha ha!
    But, by the end of each and every day i ask myself? Is it really worth it? Is this what i want lola to pick up from me… So, as of, well… Almost everyday, i say “what the heck!” I want her to learn the dollars, not the pounds… Love and compassion, not how much have i achieved money/job wise..
    Hooray for real moms! Hooray for the women who show their kids to understand the value of life and to know that the ups and downs are part of its perfection, because without each and every one of them, we would not be who we are!

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    1. Maggie, I will cheer right along with you!! Love, compassion, are they not what makes life worth the living? You are doing the right thing and Lola is blessed to have you as her mom! Keep it up lady, and I too will try to keep reminding myself of the bigger picture. 🙂

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  17. I always try not to compare myself to other moms, in all honesty. As long as I do the best I can to ensure a good life for my family, I am happy 🙂 with that said, my mother and grandmother are my inspiration. I watched my mom do her best to raise my sisters and I, even when she was sick, dying. She never stopped smiling and telling people how much she loved being a mother– even when she didn’t even look like one anymore. When she passed away, my grandmother continued where she left off, and she did a great job! Not once did she complain about her appearance, and when we would tell her how pretty she was, she would respond, “looking good isn’t just about your physical appearance. It’s all about WHO you are.” 🙂

    -Sophia from http://www.mommysweetheart.com

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    1. Oh, Sophia, thank you sharing this beautiful, intimate detail of your life. What an inspiration both women are and such a challenge to the rest of us. You were so very blessed to have them both.

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    1. Cate, sadly I have. I had some major struggles with body image and at one point of my life and turned to skin and bones. At the time I did not even consider myself all too small. The ways our mind can play tricks on us is incredible. How I hope our own children will be spared. . .

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  20. Hey Sasha, beautiful post. I try not compare myself to other mothers because that’s just a road of woe 🙂 but my own mother is my inspiration. Gentle, loving, patient, unusual, creative. Now that i am a mother, I accept that I can’t be the same mother as my mother was – but there are some things I try to carry over: fairness, giving everyone a say, tolerance, respect. I’m a bit edgier, a bit crankier and more independent minded than my mother, but she gave us such a good start.

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    1. Sara, what a great inspiration she is!! I too look back at the many things my mom taught and emulated to me growing up and forever see her as the biggest inspiration of my life.

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  21. Sasha……….you need model yourself on no one else…..no one else would come close to the purest love you have for your $20.00 girl and lovely lad. Beautiful post as always of course, but truly….your little ones can’t do any better for a mother than you. Promise.

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  22. I love this so much! Why do we always compare ourselves to others? I’m just as guilty as the next person. This is a wonderful reminder that what’s on the inside is so much more important.

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    1. Thanks!! Yes, it seems the comparison game never ends. In high school and college it is with the other single girls, then the married women, and now the mommas. The inside is what has always been the most important but it seems society likes to teach us differently most days. I need to remind myself often of what is true beauty–women such as yourself, giving your all for your children day in and day out. 🙂

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  23. Another whimsical post that makes me think. 🙂 This reminds me of that picture with the two children standing on the scale saying well it doesn’t hurt us, so why does mommy cry everytime she steps on it? Haha. Sometimes children have a better view of the world than we do.

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    1. Oh, that is such a great illustration to this!! Goes to show it is something taught to us, for we are born with a much different mindset of beauty. You are right–my daughter shows me what is truly beautiful each day.

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    1. Thanks, her little mind keeps me in constant entertainment and smiles! 🙂 Yes, I couldn’t agree more–comparing only brings us further down. Thanks for sharing!

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  25. I think when we love ourselves, our true beauty shines and we can then appreciate the beauty in the women we see and admire without feeling that we are less. I love seeing beautiful women dressed up in cute, casual clothes, toenails done, cute shoes, and jewelry and lipstick on. Sometimes I am that woman, and sometimes I’m the one with a ponytail, no shower, no makeup and sweaty! I hope that one day, maybe even now, we all can feel that we are perfectly imperfect and we are enough and that we are ok and we just love each other up! xo

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  27. This is just beautiful, as everything you write is. My son’s gave me this reminder the other day when they said similar things after weighting themselves and being so excited over their 33 lbs. If only we all saw value and worth in the number. What a precious reminder of the truth!

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