Childbirth · My Heart

Child Birth: the Ache of Love

Sasha

Welcome to the Share Your Story event: Childbirth – Your Stories

This post was written as part of the Share Your Story event hosted by Kids in the House. Our contributors have shared their stories, struggles, and wisdom about the unforgettable yet unpredictable event that is childbirth.

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I remember thinking there could be nothing as awful as the feeling of knives piercing one’s back, over and over and over again. I turned to my husband in the middle of one of these knifing sessions and moaned “I Can’t do this!” Being the good, supportive husband he responded “Well, what are you going to do? Go hide in the closet?”

I begged for drugs, throwing every last “all natural!” chant out the window. My chants came back to bite me though, for the epidermal failed.

Pain, moans, knives and more knives, pushing, panting, pushing, pushing, pushing. . .

Then, I saw her face. . . 

The past hours of misery where immediately washed away. She was scrunched and red: she was perfect. Her head came out a bit pointy–oh, the most beautiful head. Her lungs burst into cries which filled the room and my entire being shook with tears. She was tiny, so very, very tiny. I held her, trembling, terrified I may wound her fragile frame.

We slept, skin to skin, and I realized there would be no greater moment in life.

The nurse took her for a few hours while I slept alone. I was awakened to a baby crying in the hall and immediately jumped up, my heart aching with an intense pain to see her once more. The next moment she was brought in and I fell in love all over again.

Love? I did not know this type of love existed.

I did not understand the intensity, the pain, the ache of love.

She was only a few hours old and I wept thinking of the day she would leave home. I could not imagine ever wanting to do anything else but stare at her perfect face forever.

This is the miracle of childbirth. The pain which suddenly takes on divine beauty. The ache of labor shifting to the indescribably ache of true love.

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Please be sure to read the submissions by the other Share Your Story contributors, and visit Kids in the House to find out how you can participate in our next Share Your Story Blogger Event!

  • Two Peas in a Pod: A Double Miracle – Rachael at Three Boys and Mom shares how the blessing of an unexpected twin pregnancy saved a woman’s life.
  • Childbirth: the Ache of Love – Sasha at MomLife Now describes how one mom discovered a miraculous beauty she new not existed.
  • Tax Day 2007 – Cheryl at The Pump Station & Nursery looks back on how an easy pregnancy turned out to be a taxing birth experience.
  • Going with the Flow – Bridget at Bridget Bertrand shares how her OB helped to put her on the right course in regards to birth plans, the playlist, and even the recipe to make the day her daughter came into the world.
  • My Not-So Natural Birth Story – Rachel at Mommy Greenest shares a lot of questions with questions with pregnant and new parents through her work, but this time describes what it was like for her, giving birth for the first time – but definitely not the last – time.
  • The (Not So) Natural Birth Story – Britt at My Life and Kids reflects on how a mom’s life-threatening delivery helped mold her into the mother she was meant to be.
  • Giving Birth: When the Unexpected Happens – Elle at This is Mommyhood shares advice for when your baby has an unexpected stay in the NICU.
  • A New Look at the “Perfect” Birth Story – Melissa at Fill My Cup shares how a crazy delivery gave one mom a new perspective on the ‘perfect birth.’
  • Induction Induced Feelings of Loss – The Orange Rhino shares how a planned induction brought unplanned feelings of jealousy, sadness, disappointment and loss.
  • Our Beautiful Birth Story – Lindsay at The Fully Caffeinated Mama reflects on how it wasn’t the feeling of intense pain caused by the epidural wearing off that she remembers, but rather the beautiful baby on her chest for the first time.
  • Jack’s Arrival – Samantha at The Peanuts Gang thought she would have a scheduled c-section, but it turned out that having Jack was QUICK and sooner than expected!
  • Remembering to Breathe – Suzy at Kids in the House explains how with little fanfare, the completely wrong music, and a very distracted doctor, her son Leo was born.

40 thoughts on “Child Birth: the Ache of Love”

  1. What a beautiful story. Mine was so very different, I never got to experience labour due to Zachary being breach! I had the very clinical planned c-section but the same beautiful ending of this tiny little red thing, screaming at the top of his lungs. I so hope to be able to experience a natural birth next time!

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    1. I too hope you are able to experience this. However, regardless of how they enter the miracle is the same. Your body was cut into–a scar created for life–and yet the moment you laid eyes on your sweet boy every stitch became beautiful. So much so you are willing to do it again, if needed, for a second miracle. Love it!! Thanks for sharing your story!

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    2. I had a planned cesarean as well. My serious lack of dilation and me having severe anxiety about my body (mainly my back, due to back issues) not being able to handle the pain from natural are what made my doctor, my husband, and I decide it was the best course of action. I am hoping with the next one I can try natural, but I’ve heard that it’s quite a lot more dangerous after a c-section. Hope you get to have natural next time as well. Happy scribbles. 🙂

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    1. Anne, I cannot wait to read yours!! It is such a beautiful thing how each one is equally as miraculous and beautiful. Simply thinking of each of my babies’ births still takes my breathe away. 🙂

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  3. Another powerful writing that leaves me sitting here with gooseflesh feeling your wonder and absolutely humbled in the ability you have to put this into words years later and still make us feel that amazement that was yours.

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    1. It seems the craziness of life can cause things to seem a blur. I loved writing this for it brought back to me things I had forgotten. I had to stop many times to go blow my nose and dry my eyes while reliving the moment again. 🙂 I do hope you too write all yours down. It was such a beautiful walk down memory lane!

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  5. Pingback: Share Your Story: Jack’s Arrival

  6. My sons are 17 and 12 and both of their births are still as vivid as if I just had them. One fairly easy, yet long drawn out delivery and the other four weeks early and oh so fast!! Memories I hope to have forever. Thanks for sharing your story.

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    1. To give birth to your child is beyond anything explainable. It is something only a fellow mom can ever understand. Those first moments with your baby have to be equivalent to the wonder of heaven itself. I hope you too write down the memories. 🙂

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  11. What a beautiful post Sasha. While reading I was thinking about my expr. Pushing pushing omg I also expreinced it for almost 3 hours. The moment I saw my lo one face pain vanished

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    1. Oh you poor dear–3 hours!! Isn’t is the most amazing thing ever: how one can immediately forget about the pain? There is no greater love in all the world than what is wrapped up in those first few moments of mommy meeting her baby.

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      1. Yes Sasha 3 hours I was crying badly. Luckily breathing exercise from yoga class helped a bit. True. Your post kindled all those post. Thanks dear

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    1. Thanks Hannah!! Childbirth is something so beautiful it can never be fully expressed by the human language. I am so blessed to have been able to experience it!

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  14. Pingback: Two Peas in a Pod: A Double Miracle | Three Boys and a Mom

  15. So beautiful sasha!!! That’s such a good way to put it…it’s a love so deep that it aches. I used to, and still do, say that often, that I love them so much it hurts. And it does! In such an amazing way! ❤

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    1. Oh, Alana, I am so glad to have been able to bring you across memory lane! It is such a beautiful bond mothers share: the mutual, miraculous experience of childbirth.

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    1. It really is incredible!! All that pain and yet we rejoice when we find out we will have to do it all again for another child! Either it is a miracle or we are all just a little crazy! 😉

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  18. Even though I didn’t have natural, the cesarean gave me excruciating pain afterwards. It’s all been worth it though. I don’t regret a minute of it. Another great article!I love the way you darkened and off set certain sentences. Just thought you should know. 🙂

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    1. Thanks Trisha!! You are always so encouraging! I was blessed to have an easy, if not painful, delivery. I have heard horror stories of days of labor and hours of pushing. I have also heard how rough the recovery of a cesarean is. However, I have never heard a mom say it was not worth it. Our children have no idea what kind of love they have placed in us! 🙂

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  19. Beautiful, Sasha! I also just read Rachael’s story. It’s wonderful to read about these amazing miracles! You gals are making me want another one … and I told myself I was done. 🙂

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    1. Haha, yes, writing this made me want another just to experience it all again! My husband is not so convinced though. 🙂 I would love to hear some of yours someday!!

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