Humor

6 Things You Should Never Say to the Wife of Your Children

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1. When I tell him the shirt I am wearing makes my gut look big:

🙂 Correct response: “What gut are you talking about? You have the body of a goddess!”

😦 My husband’s response: “It’s okay. Your gut will get smaller.”

2. When it is time to leave for an event.

🙂 Correct response: “Wow babe, you look beautiful this evening.”

😦 My husband’s response: “Is that what you’re going to wear?”

3. After I arrive back from the salon, crying over my awful haircut:

🙂 Correct response: “No, no, it looks great; makes you look young and fashionable.”

😦 My husband’s response: “Don’t worry, it will grow back.”

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4. When asked if he could help out more around the house:

🙂 Correct response: “Sure, why don’t we try to do a tag team effort on the weekends.”

😦 My husband’s response: “I unloaded the dishwasher last week, don’t you remember.”

5. When I am trying to express some emotions about how I am feeling:

🙂 Correct response: “Let’s sit down and talk about this.”

😦 My husband’s response: “Is it that time of the month again?”

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6. When Saturday rolls around:

🙂 Correct response: “We have both worked really hard this week. Why don’t we take turns watching the kids so the other can have a break.”

😦 My husband’s response: “I’m going to take a nap. I have to catch up from working hard all week.”

😛 My husbands’ 2nd response: “Can’t you take both kids to the store with you? I need to take another nap.”

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22 thoughts on “6 Things You Should Never Say to the Wife of Your Children

    1. Haha, yes, I showed it to him! He seemed to think it was funny. . . not sure if it really hit him as anything more than a joke. 😉
      Thanks for the compliment as well!!

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    1. Yes, very true! When I do leave the kids alone with my husband for a few hours I come back to a house looking like a tornado just tore through it! 🙂

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  1. I’m surprised your husband still has a workable tongue. I think many women in your position might have irreparably damaged it in his sleep. It seems like you’ve got ample opportunities to make that happen, though. Ha!
    Okay, seriously, I’m only kidding, but I do hear your pain. Go eat some chocolate. Go eat a lot of chocolate. 🙂

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    1. Thanks!! I have noticed him trying to give a lot more compliments and such after reading this. Perhaps I should write these types of things more often. . . 🙂

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  2. Oh man, this is my husband too. I am “only” home for maternity leave, but for now I am home with a three year old and a newborn. This week, I manage to haul the broom to our basement rec room and I swept the room. I was pretty proud of myself for doing that, catching up on dishes, and folding most of the laundry. But I was not able to take the pile of swept dirt upstairs to throw away. When Brian got home, he made a comment about it “oh look, you swept! Aaaaaand just left it here…” I reminded him that I have my hands full and I’m doing the best I can and all I get in response is an “uh huh”.

    Yeah, buddy. It takes you three hours to get groceries with the three year old. Let’s not comment on my sweeping 😉

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    1. Haha, oh no! Perhaps you should leave him an entire day with the kids and see what he thinks about the dirt pile then! Perhaps it is true what they say: “Men, can’t live with them, can’t live without them!” 😉

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